The Gavin Chronicles

Thursday August 19, 2010

2010-08-19T21:47:00.000-06:00

Three years ago our family started on an incredible journey of FAITH!

It started on a Monday. Not just any Monday either. It was THAT Monday. Admit it we have all had them. Days where nothing can go right. This was it.

I hadn't felt him much. Why wasn't he moving. Just give me a sign kid. Let me know you are o.k. Darn that silly home monitor that let me hear the major decelerations he was having. Darn it all.

I got in my car. I felt so alone. So afraid. I knew what was going to happen. I ran the checklist in my head. The house was clean. The kids were cared for. The husband was at work. I had everything in order. Ok I was freaking out.....in case you didn't get that! Totally. 100%. FREAKING. OUT!

Do you ever notice that when you are freaking out there is absolutely nothing playing on the radio to comfort you in that moment. Yep, happens to me all the time! Off. Just shut it off! I decided I would gamble and see what kind of music surprise was in the CD player. You never know around here.....it could be just about anything from Veggie Tales to Def Leopard. Lucky for me.....it was neither!
The Lord was watching out for me that day. He was talking to me. I just didn't listen. I was too freaked out to listen. But, I left it playing anyway. Subconsciously I think my brain got the message....my head just didn't engage. Is that possible. You know, to get it and really not get it??? I sang the lyrics to the song. I replayed it over and over. Maybe like you know, 10 times or more. Hey, it's a long ride from Castle Rock to Littleton.
I don't listen to that disk too often anymore. But I pull it out when I am feeling sentimental and let's face it......August is a month for being sentimental in this house. This August, the one we are currently in, it's different though. It's been hard, in a good way. Lots of Good Byes and a few hellos too! So I pulled it out. And there is was....screaming my name again. That song!

Ever Walk With Me Lord
Music and Lyrics by Peter Mayer

Refrain
Ever walk with me Lord
Each night and day a rejoicing
With kindness the harmony, justice the beat
You've turned my footsteps to dancing
Oh Ever walk with me Lord

How can I come before You?
What worthy gift could I bring?
What glorious feast could I offer?
What songs of majesty sing?
Lift this heart of sadness into gladness by Your peace
Before I can come before You, You come to me

In my work I grow weary
Lost on this road of desires
Where is the path that leads homeward?
To bring me back to Your fire
Lift these eyes of sadness into gladness at Your peace
I am lost and weary, come shepherd me

A million voices surround me
How can I hear when You call?
When at last grace has found me Will I recognize it at all?
Lift this song of sadness into gladness at Your feast
To hear Your voice is calling, come walk with me

So that Monday......I got a room that day! A nice BIG room. I was going to be there a while. They told me so. I believed them. Each day that went on I believed them more. Then it happened. Four days later to be exact. On a holiday weekend. He was coming. There was no choice. You might wonder what was going through my head in that moment. A lot. and a little. All at the same time. I felt overwhelmed. I felt a peace.

Within 2 hours we were in the delivery room. Surrounded by at least 1000 people......our son was born. He was small. He was VERY small. He was early. VERY early. 16 weeks early to be exact. I didn't hear him cry. I saw him. He was quiet. He was helpless. He was SMALL. I cried. I PRAYED. Dear God don't take this child from me. Take me Lord. Take me! He cored on the table 3 times. They had a hard time getting an ET tube in him. He was SMALL. The tubes weren't even that small. Don't take him God. Please don't take my baby. He was breathing. My baby was breathing. Thank you God! Thank you for answering that prayer for me. I'm listening Lord, I'm listening.

I don't remember much more about that day. But I do remember when I was walking into the delivery room to be prepped for surgery.....My God was there with me! He was walking with me! He was holding my hand! He gave me that peace! That PEACE that surpasses all understanding!

What an incredible journey of FAITH the past 3 years have been. What a joy to celebrate the wonderful LIFE that God has created. Both for our Gavin and for us! How truly blessed are we. So as the summer draws to a close so also does another chapter in this walk of FAITH.

This August has been a hard month of Good Byes! Gavin has graduated from all home services that he has received since being discharged from the hospital. It has been hard to see them go. But, with God as their guide....they have given my baby boy his wings. Now he must fly!

It's always so hard to say good bye! There were many tears shed. On both sides. But this boy.....he is going to take those wings and he is going to FLY high! And to you....Miss Beth and Miss Jen.....Thank you so much for all that you have given to us! You were an integral part of this amazing journey of FAITH that we are on. You have shown our little boy how to gain his independence. You have laughed with us. You have cried with us. We will miss you! But this is not good bye......it is until we meet again!

And so, Gavin took those wings and he hitched them up.......and our once 1lb baby boy ran off to the start of Preschool this week. With a tear......or two or three.....in our eyes we watched him smile with glee as he entered that room! He gets this journey our God has set in motion for him. Our God has BIG plans for our SMALL kid. And I am so very thankful that he has chosen me to be his mother. To watch it all play out. To watch him soar on those wings. To run and not be weary. To walk and not be faint. To taste and SEE the goodness of God! Man, how blessed am I. That my God chose me for this job! Amazing. Simply Amazing!

And so this week, we begin a new chapter in our journey of FAITH! This one is a LEAP of faith. The moment when you place your child into someone else's care and you trust GOD to do the rest! We are ready to meet the challenges that lie ahead......we are ready for the CALL!!

Peace and Love-
Colin, Juanita, Ian, Brooke and Gavin

Sunday August 30, 2009

2009-08-30T20:39:00.009-06:00

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28

Hello to all of our wonderful family and friends-

Two years ago, as I lay in a hospital bed.....hooked up to monitors and listening to my unborn child's heart beat away, I had a lot of time to think. Time for personal reflection if you will. The past few days, amongst the flutter of birthday activity, I have spent some time reflecting as well.

Those of you who have been with us for our journey know that I am very fond of the verse "Be still and know that I am God" This verse held me grounded on many a day that I so badly wanted to crumble.

In my reflecting over the past few days what I have come to realize is that in the stillness, God is my captain! My GPS of sorts. A Garmin sorta guy! What amazes me though is that we have a Garmin. That in itself is not amazing. We call "her" Sally the trusty tour guide. Sally knows everything about how to get anyplace. When we get in our car and Sally talks, we listen. And, we certainly don't argue with Sally's directions, because, well, she knows what is best for us in our navigations. So what I have been reflecting upon for my own life is this.....If I can trust Sally, why do I struggle some days with trusting God. Why do I question his direction for me when things get tough? I don't question him when things are going good.....I thank him. This topic has been on my mind for the past few days.

When I look at Gavin I am reminded that our God is an awesome God. I am reminded that in the tough times I DO need to be still! I am reminded that his mercies are new every day! I am reminded that he will never leave us nor forsake us. I am reminded that I should in every way and in every thought trust him with the navigation of my life.....just as I trust Sally. Afterall, he knows the plans he has for us.....plans to prosper us and not harm us, plans to give us hope and a future.

Two years ago, the Lord set us on an incredible journey. A journey of faith and trust. What an incredible, blessed journey this has been. Tomorrow we embark on yet another chapter in our journey. I think God would find it ok if I personally entitled this chapter....."The Terrible Two's"

So, as we enter our new chapter I am excited.....about what our future holds. Now, don't get me wrong....I am scared too! Any one of you who know my Gavin should be scared right along with me. Scared because my kid.....he knows who is in charge. He knows that God is bigger than the boogey man. He knows that with God all things are possible. And he knows that if he falls.....and if he gets hurt.......and if he goes by ambulance......we have the best prayer warriors around! He also knows, that our God answers those prayers! We know that too! But what scares me the most about what he knows.....he knows to Fear NOT!! And Fear NOT he does! And, he does it well!

And so, as a new chapter unfolds I am making a committment to trust my navigation system...my GPS kinda guy, he knows whats best for me. Lord, I will praise you in the storm......and today, I thank you for the storms......because through these storms, we have blossomed and grown.

Gavin has grown this year too! He has grown into a wonderful, loving, funny, adorable, witty, fearless, cute, cuddly, sneaky, energetic little man! With personality! He always has a smile on his face. He is always curious. He is always into something. And, he always has NO fear! He is walking.....well running! He is starting to talk more and more each day. He is growing. He is changing. And, he continues to amaze us every day!

At last check, 2 weeks ago, after a hospital admission, Gavin weighed in at around 17 lbs. He is somewhere near 30 inches long and his head is getting bigger by the moment. Head circumferance....I have no clue! He is still seeing his physical therapist Beth, although, he may be discontinued soon.....because his gross motor skills have advanced very nicely. He will be starting speech therapy next week and we are excited for him to learn more words and be able to express himself. Check back with me later on this one.....I may regret being excited cause he may talk all the time very soon! We will most likely be adding occupational therapy to Gavin's routine as well. This will help him with his fine motor skills, which are getting better, however, are not quite there yet. We have been given the go ahead to discontinue his thyroid meds because he no longer needs them. He does however, remain on the sodium bicarbonate for his renal tubular acidosis. He officially can wear a size 12mo in clothes and a size 3 in shoes. I love him to wear baseball hats.....but alas, he hates them. He is learning to eat with a spoon and fork and he absolutely loves a good food fight......especially if he knows it will make you laugh! He loves cars and balls and all things boy. His favorite food is Mac and Cheese with pizza as a close second...cheese of course! He is a milk snob through and through and will NOT drink his milk unless it has VANILLA carnation instant breakfast in it! All other milk is, well, subpar to him! He has learned how to ride on his ride on and his feet actually reach the ground now. He loves to ride in the wagon and thinks he is a big kid and can run in the street with his siblings when they play. He is a cuddly sorta fellow, giving hugs and kisses freely.....mulitple times a day. He loves to climb on the back of the couch and stand on the arms of the couch too....and laugh cause he knows it scares the heck out of you! He hates to swing at the park but loves to slide. Oh, and climb too! He is a chic magnet and loves to flirt! He loves to be outdoors and cries when he has to come in. He is a good sleeper but not so great of an eater these days. He is a happy, well adjusted 2 year old.....because, our God is an awesome God! He has big plans for our little man.....and we are just along for the ride.....but now I know, to trust my navigation system....because, it has never led me astray!

Happy birthday to our big boy! Mommy and Daddy are so proud to call you ours! We love you more and more each day! And to all of our family and friends, thank you for your continued love and support. Without all of you, we would be lost many days. You are our support through good and bad and you have shown your unfailing love for us time and time again.

So here's to a new year......and a new chapter......and exciting things that lie ahead!

Peace and Love-

Colin, Juanita, Ian, Brooke and Gavin

June 8, 2009

2009-06-08T14:58:00.005-06:00

"For this child I prayed; and the LORD has given me my petition which I asked of him"

1 Samuel 1:27

Hello to all of our wonderful family and friends-

Where has the year gone? It seems very hard to believe that I am about to embark on planning a 2nd birthday! Wow! Two years old already! AMAZING!

We continued to be blessed by the grace of God on a daily basis. We are so thankful for wonderful friends and family who have been with us through thick and thin. Without the love and prayers that have been so graciously given to us over the past 2 years, we truly would not have made it.

Gavin continues to amaze us. Lots has happened with the little man in the past month or so. We are now walking....well, more like almost full fledged running in some instances. He is into everything and I do mean EVERYTHING! He has no fear of anything and I mean NOTHING! He takes on the world with full force and a smile on his face. His preferred method of communication is grunt and point although he understands just about everything you say to him. He tries to walk up the stairs now but his legs are still a bit short....well a lot short! He loves to throw...anything! Food, balls, bottles, toys, ANYTHING! He adores cars and loves to climb up the slide and slide down. He has mastered the fine art of up and down the stairs at high rates of speed and makes us nervous every chance he gets. He eats like a champ and loves to feed himself now a days. He is just learning to use a spoon and fork.

Let's see, in the growth department Gavin is weighing in at almost 16 lbs these days and is about 28 inches long or so....I think. We are finished with this years season of Synagis and will gear up for that again in the fall. He is happy to not have to have monthly shots anymore. He is still on the sodium bicarbonate for his renal tubular acidosis issues. We are also still on Synthroid for his thyroid. There has been some talk about growth hormones once he is 2 years old. We will see what the pediatrician and the endocrinologist come up with on that one. He has his 21 month well child check next week and then his big 2 year appointment in August! Miss Beth, his PT, still comes and visits us once a week. We love her to pieces. She has helped him out so much in his gross and fine motor skills. We may be approaching a time where we add speech therapy. He is catching up slowly but surely...and one day he will get there all around. Gavin is also due for an eye appointment this summer. I am confident everything is fine in that department because he does not miss a beat.

We are off and running with summer activities and always on the run....or so it seems. Ian is in the hypes of baseball right now and Brooke finally was able to wrap up her soccer season, after many weeks of snow and postponement. Colin is busy with work but seems to be on a hiatus from traveling for a while. Which is a nice welcome after a busy travel season early in the year. I am keeping busy with trying to get this photography business off the ground and simply being mom. Life is good and we have no complaints.

Stay tuned to the chronicles as we gear up for Gavin's big day! Thanks again to each and every one of you for your continued love and support. We have the best friends and family anyone could ever ask for.

Peace and Love-

Colin, Juanita, Ian, Brooke and Gavin

The Blueberry Pie Incident!

2009-05-15T13:20:00.006-06:00

Do these pictures ~~require words~~ speak for themselves?

Blueberry Pie for breakfast of course!

Who would have thought......

April 12, 2009

2009-04-12T21:30:00.008-06:00

The Lord is Risen!
He is risen indeed!
Alleluia!

Hello to all of our family and friends!

Happy Easter to each and every one of you! We hope that you all had a blessed day!

As for us, we had a different kind of Easter. We had a quiet Easter spent at home with 4 of us being sick....and I think the 5th of us is reaching the sympathetic illness stage.

I will write more about Easter through the week....but for today, enjoy our Easter through our pictures! It may provide comic relief for you.....Hey, have you ever tried to photograph a 19 month old who sits still for like oh....maybe 2 seconds. If you have not here is what I suggest....find a cheetah charging at about 100mph and see if you can snap a shot of him...then see if you can get him to smile and get a close up shot....THAT is what it is like with Gavin! Enjoy!

All of those shots just to get this one.....ahhh the joys of parenting!

Peace and Love-

Colin, Juanita, Ian, Brooke and Gavin

April 2, 2009

2009-04-01T14:29:00.005-06:00

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."
Philippians 4:4-9

I made a phone call yesterday!

Actually, I made 2 phone calls yesterday!

For 19 months I have blogged about Gavin and our families trials and tribulations. I have blogged about my faith and how it has stood strong and been tested on many occassions. I have poured my soul out to you about how awesome of a God we have and the grace that has encirled this family for months.

For 19 months we have felt love and compassion from people all around the globe. We have followers both internationally and domestically. We have felt the love of God in our lives and we have felt the benefits of prayer each and every day of our lives. We have lived the challenges that the Lord has set forth for us and our faith has been renewed time and time again.

Several months ago Colin and I became a part of a wonderful organization here in Denver. Help Heal the Children is a 501c3 Non-Profit organization dedicated to assisting premature babies and their families through difficult times. This organization provides financial assistance to families as well as in home child care, gas cards and prepared meals so that families may focus on nursing their babies back to health. We were approached by the founder's of this organization and asked to sit on their board. We stepped up willingly to take the opportunity. This is a wonderful way for us to share with others so much of what has been shared with us over the 19 months of Gavin's life.

I have personally had the opportunity to work side by side with NICU families during their journey with their child. To have this opportunity is the ultimate gift. Help Heal the Children has given Colin and I the opportunity to share with other families our story. To lend our support to others who are walking the same path that we walked just months ago. We are so excited to be a part of this wonderful organization. To learn more about Help Heal the Children you can visit their website at http://www.helphealthechildren.org/.

Did I mention I made a phone call yesterday?

As many of you know I am somewhat of a blog junkie. I know.....there are probably support groups for this.

I have been following MckMama's blog for quite some time. I am drawn into her style of writing and the humor she puts forth. She and I would get along quite well I am sure. What I am more drawn to is her FAITH. Her PERSEVERANCE. Her DETERMINATION. and Her SPIRIT!

At merely 20 weeks pregnant with her fourth installment, MckMama was told that her baby in utero surely would not make it. He was diagnosed with a life threatening heart condition. At that moment in time MckMama and Prince Charming (her loving husband) decided to give their unborn child's life up to God. They laid their fears and stresses on God knowing that ultimately he and only he knows what is best for us. Despite doctors predictions MckMuffin aka baby S was born full term with no heart problems and complete with dimples!

For months MckMama, Prince Charming, Big Mac, MckNugget and Small fry have all rejoiced and basked in the glory of God. Their baby was born healthy and was living a normal life.....despite what many doctors had predicted. Until....

March 23 when MckMuffin.....aka........Baby S......aka STELLAN was admitted to the hospital after an illness that required the use of Albuteral. Albuteral as many of you know is a rescue drug used to open the repiratory airways. This same drug can also cause heightened heart functions in some patients. Unfortunatly for Stellan, it changed his heart function from having a normal sinus rhythm to having what is knows as SVT. Supra Ventricular Tachychardia is a very dangerous condition for young children. This is the same condition that Stellan was diagnosed with in utero. The very condition that doctors warned would take his life.

For several days now MckMama has spent every waking hour by her young child's side in the Minneapolis Children's hospital. She has slept in a conference room for days on end so she can be there for Stellan. She has missed countless days with her other three children and missed the companionship of Prince Charming while he cares for their other children. She is scared. She is tired. She is emotionally drained. She has felt frustration. She has felt anger. She has felt desperation. She has felt all the same things that Colin and I felt during our journey with Gavin. My heart aches for her.

Earlier in the week a generous follower of her blog gifted her with a night at the Sheraton Hotel. This hotel sits adjacent to the hospital and is connected via a walkway. Thank God cause I know it snows in Minneapolis......another words, they don't just talk about snow there.....they actually see it! After staying one night in a bed MckMama realized the value of a place where she could go to sleep. To take a shower. It might seem simple folks....but when your child is knocking on death's door....you really lose site of just about everything....cleanliness and clothing included. She realized the value in being able to step out of Stellan's room to a place where she could be with her thoughts. She could be alone. She could share this place with her family. Did I mention she could sleep and she could shower? Soon after her first night at the Sheraton came to an end yet another blog follower had called to pay for another night for her. Another night of sleep and another shower made possible.

I came home yesterday afternoon after having lunch with Colin and Gavin. I put my Gavin boy down for a nap and I sat down to collect my own thoughts. Nap time often is my ME time. Sometimes it is my LAUNDRY time. Sometimes it is my BATH time. Sometimes it is my CLEAN THE HOUSE time. Basically nap time is a versatile time with many uses. That is....if Gavin cooperates! Yesterday he cooperated and I chose to just relax.

I opened my laptop and read my email then I began to peruse the normal sites I like to look at. Since I have been praying for MckMama and her family I decided to check her blog for an update on Stellan. I check often because she updates often. In her update she shared the gift of a room at the Sheraton for a second night. My heart skipped a beat. It literally took me to September 11, 2007. The day Gavin was sent via Airlife to Presbyterian St. Lukes hospital here in downtown Denver. Our baby had been moved nearly 35 miles away from home. Moved to a hospital where siblings were not allowed to visit. Moved to a hospital where they deal only with the sickest of sick babies. Our baby was one of the sickest of sick babies they took care of. How were we going to manage being close to Gavin yet having a place to rest and shower. The general manager of the Hyatt Regency gave us a complimentary room on the 27th floor of his hotel for at least a week. More was available if needed. He provided us with parking. He provided us with conceirge service. He provided us with in room food and drinks. He provided us with a place to SLEEP. He provided us with a SHOWER. He provided us with a place to gather our thoughts. He provided all of this out of the goodness of his heart because he knew we had a need. This was such a God send for us. We had the ability to be close to Gavin yet have an escape when we needed it.

Did I tell you I made two phone calls yesterday?

After reading her blog about the Sheraton. I knew her need. I felt her need. I have been there. We have done that. In that moment, without hesitation, I went to Google. Isn't Google a wonderful thing? Anway, I looked up the local number for the Sheraton in Minneapolis Midtown. With the number in hand, I picked up the phone and dialed. It rang and rang and rang. Not sure of what I was going to say......someone answered. I asked for the General Manager and was promtly connected. When Andy answered the phone I introduced myself. I shared a bit about our story with Gavin. Our story with the Hyatt here in Denver. I then shared MckMama's story. I shared with him about Stellan. I shared about her family. I shared about her need. I reached out to this general manager and I asked him to help with this need by providing her with a complimentary room at his hotel for at least a week. More if she needed it. Without hesitation Andy told me he would leave a message on her room phone and he would be honored to take care of her. Tears filled my eyes as I hung up the phone. This is what it is about. To see the love of God in action. To see God's people in action is absolutely amazinginly, awesome. BUT to be one of those people in action.....gives you the most amazing and awesome feeling on the inside!

Now I had a chore. How was I going to get ahold of MckMama to share with her my news.

Did I tell you I made two phone calls yesterday?

After fumbling around on her website and finding her email address I sent her an email. I once again shared with her about Gavin. I shared with her about us. I shared with her that I understood her feelings and most of all that I understood her need at this point. I was quite proud of myself as I hit the send button.

Then....

I realized! Her blog is getting over 200,000 hits a day. People from all over the world know about Stellan and are praying for him. There was no way she was going to get an email from me.....amongst the thousands of other emails from fellow followers.

Once again I went to Google. This time for the directory of Minneapolis Children's Hospital. I found a direct dial number for the PICU. I once again picked up the phone......a nurse answered from the nurses station. I asked if I could just leave a message for MckMama. She placed me on hold. After what seemed like several minutes....someone answered the phone with a hushed hello. I had no idea who I was talking to. She had no idea who she was talking to. One of us had to say something. So, I asked the question.....Is this MckMama? Sure enough it was. I had no plan of talking to her. I had no idea of what to say. Here I was talking to this mom who was sharing some of the same fears that I had one day. I once again shared with her our story. I shared with her about Gavin. I shared with her about the body of Christ in action in our lives and I shared with her about the Hyatt.

Then....

I shared with her about Andy and the Sheraton.

She began to cry. I began to cry. Hey remember, my estrogen is still being tweaked......but even without estrogen....I think the tears would have been flowing.

We talked for a fair amount of time and exchanged phone numbers. She was touched by my phone call and I felt that warm fuzzy feeling on the inside. You know the one you get when you are about to....

pee your pants!

The work of God in our lives is amazing. The grace of God in our lives is amazing! The work of God in other people's lives is amazing. His grace is surrounding this family and holding them steadfast to his promise to never leave nor forsake.

I made two phone calls yesterday and I will NEVER forget.....

I made two phone calls yesterday and I will NEVER regret......

Sharing God's love and Grace with another fellow member of the body of Christ....

April fools day was met with NO FOOLIN here......

Please check out MckMama's blog and read more about Stellan.....

http://www.mycharmingkids.net/

You will not regret it! And you most certainly will NOT forget it!

Please add MckMama, Prince Charming, Big Mac, MckNugget, Small Fry and MckMuffin.....aka....baby S......aka....Stellan to your prayer list. I know that Gavin has some of the most incredible prayer warriors around.......and I know Stellan is going to be just fine with God on his side!

Peace and Love-

Colin, Juanita, Ian, Brooke and Gavin

March 24, 2009

2009-03-24T14:24:00.003-06:00

Happy Spring!

Can you believe that we have now entered into the season of sunshine, longer days, warmer nights and summer is just around the corner?

What I cannot believe is that I have not updated this blog since January! OK so I took a brief intemission in life to deal with what seemed like a phase that would never end. I am happy to report however that it HAS ended and I am back up and resuming LIFE!

Once again God has shown us his presence in our life. I wondered (for a brief moment....hey I am being honest here....ok it was probably more than a moment) if God had put me on hold. I pondered whether or not I had exhausted my quota of prayers I was allowed in a lifetime...or if there even was a quota. I kept praying....but it seemed to me that God wasn't listening....in the end I realize I was the deaf one.....and now I get it! So, if you ever sit there and wonder why your prayers are not being answered.....Be still and know that he is God! I used to cling to that verse when Gavin was in the hospital and now that verse applies to me once again. What I fully realize is that the will of God will never take me where the grace of God cannot sustain me. A hard lesson to learn....but what a learning experience he has given me to make me a stronger person....to pull me closer to him and to show me that he will never leave me nor forsake me.

We are back into the swing of spring here in our house with sports! Brooke started soccer a few weeks ago and had her first game on Saturday. It is so fun to watch these girls learn and mature into very good players. Brooke had a great break away on Saturday and nearly scored a goal...we are so proud of her. Ian will be starting spring baseball here in a few weeks and we will join our friends and cheer him on. He is very excited to be playing on the same team again this year. Colin remains very busy with work and doubly busy with work and home. His job is very challenging yet very rewarding for him and he loves what he does. He works for a great organization with a great group of people.

I am recovering nicely from surgery and will have my 2 week post op appointment tomorrow. Colin has been home with me for 2 weeks and has been the most incredible help I could ever ask for. He has worked full time, maintained this house, fed 3 kids and even changed poopy diapers....all so I could rest and get better. You may laugh at the poopy diaper thing but it is a reality that Colin does not do poop. We have had a marital arrangement since the introduction of children into this family. I do not do vomit and he does not do poop. Up until a few months ago this arrangement worked out swell. In January Colin left for a marathon trip on a Sunday. A very cold Sunday. On Saturday Gavin had acted peculiar....diaper wise and nutrition wise. I explained to Colin I was afraid he was getting sick....Colin assured me he would be fine. What that equates to is that I woke up on Monday morning to not one sick kiddo but 3! Remember the marital arrangement about not doing vomit? Out the window....Daddy is out of town and I am flying solo with three sick kids. So, the past week has been a challenge for Colin in the poop department and we have shared many laughs as he tried to hold his nose and hold Gavin....whom I might add, does not sit still for anything! God bless Colin and poop and God bless mommy and vomit!

Now onto Gavin....He is growing like a weed both in size and character! He is weighing in at 15lbs 10 oz now and shooting up like a rocket in the length department. I think he was 27 1/2 inches at last check. He eats everything under the sun. He especially loves mac and cheese and hot dogs! He also indulges in chicken, rice, mashed potatoes, ice cream and many many other things. He loves to spit food when he thinks he may get a reaction.....which with a 10 and 6 year old, it does not take much to get a reaction. Imagine dinner time at this house. Gavin has learned to play peek a boo and covers his eyes with his hands in anticipation of you saying boo when he pulls them off. It is very cute! He has mastered climbing the stairs. He now knows how to go up and also to come down....the safe way of course.....as opposed to the previous free fall way!! He hates to swing but loves to slide. He loves to ride in his stroller to walk his brother and sister to school and secretly I think he admires Spongebob too! He is working to master taking his first steps. I will probably shed a tear or two on that day. One because my already chaotic life will have just become more chaotic....because I don't think walk will be in his vocabulary long before we move on to run....and two because my miracle....the baby we were not sure was going to make it....is walking! Gavin is still on the synthroid for his thyroid and he is now also on a sodium bicarbonate. This is to help him grow. In the future we may be looking at having to add in growth hormones but only time will tell. We just finished up the winter 2009 round of synagis shots so we are good now until next fall. He has mastered saying mama, dada, hi, bye and some rendition of Ian comes out every now and then. He also loves to say oh pooh! Hey, he's my 3rd, it is kind of funny! He is like a sponge absorbing all he can and he brings us such joy on a daily basis. What a blessing he has been to this family. He has taught us a lot about life!

The coming weeks hold birthdays and Easter. It is hard to believe that my big baby is going to be 10 in just a few days. Seems as though just yesterday I polished off that box of girl scout cookies and was laying in the hospital having a C-Section. It has been 10 wonderful years filled with joy and laughter....and a few tears along the way. Ian has grown so much and is such a joy to be around. He is such a smart kid and has such high aspirations in life. Brooke is going to be 6 and she is full of life! She loves everything music and can often be caught singing and dancing. She is trying to master the moves to Hannah Montana's new Hoedown Throwdown song so she can teach it to her friends at her birthday party. She amazes us each and every day and watching her grow has been so much fun!

I think that concludes the long update on us. We are so thankful to be blessed with such wonderful family and friends. To each and every one of you please know that we love and cherish you and we thank God for you every day!

Peace and Love-

Colin, Juanita, Ian, Brooke and Gavin

January 19, 2009

2009-01-18T21:28:00.009-07:00

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

Hebrews 11:1

Another year down and a new one just begun! Where has the time gone? I will say this much, 2008 ended with a bang for our family!

It was roughly one year ago that we began on a new journey. Gavin was home and our prayers had been answered. 2008 marked the beginning of a new chapter in our life with Gavin. Our life at home.

We have discovered a lot about life with Gavin this past year. First and foremost we have learned that Gavin is a very strongwilled child filled with strength and determination. There is no challenge too big or mountain too high for our Gavin to climb. We have learned to take notice of the little things and also to let go of the little things. Laughter really is the best medicine and Gavin proves to be a great source of comic relief over and over again. Our God is an awesome God. He brought us to this place and he continues to surround us with his love and grace. Without him, we are nothing. Our faith continues to grow and be strengthened each day.

The last few months of 2008 were a challenge for us. It started mid November when Gavin blessed our house with a wonderful case of the stomach flu. Little did we know he had already learned the fine art of sharing and proceeded to share this delightful bug with Brooke, mommy and daddy. Ian remained well. After concluding our rounds of stomach flu, which included 2 rounds for Brooke, we started December with hopes for a great end to the year.

Colin was once again very involved with running sound at the church for the various groups who perform at the holiday season. His perfomance season actually began before Thanksgiving and did not end until after Christmas. Things at his "day" job seemed to ramp up at the same time and it seemed like an eternity that we actually went without seeing each other and spending time as a family. Colin graced our house with a nasty cold/sinus infection the weekend before Thanksgiving. He also has learned the fine art of sharing and proceeded to share with Brooke, Gavin and mommy. Once again, Ian remained well!

In between sound gigs and his day job, our time at home as a family was spent with a box of Kleenex by our side. Christmas day brought a bought of Pink Eye for Gavin compounded by an allergic reaction of some type that continues to this day. Colin had to go out of town for an emergency trip on December 28. Upon his departure, I so wonderfully had come down with Pink Eye and a raging cold/sinus infection. Gavin once again had shared and once again, Ian remained well! On a good note, Brooke remained well too! Colin came home on the 30th and needless to say, we rang in the new year in style.....in bed, with the kleenex still by our side.

So, our new year started with Gavin getting over Pink Eye.....yet having what appears to be a contact allergic reaction to something....which is yet to be determined. Colin is finally over his cold/sinus infection after 2 full months and 3 full rounds of antibiotics. I am on the mend and Brooke and Ian are well! We have opened all of the windows and sprayed lysol on just about everything in this house. I think the bugs are gone for good and we are not opening our doors to welcome them back anytime soon....if ever!

So what's going on with Gavin you may ask? Where to begin....Sometime in November Gavin has his 15 month well child check. At this check up he had shown some growth but nothing too significant. This prompted the doctor to run further testing to make sure there was no underlying cause for the slow growth. The tests revealed that Gavin has Renal Tubular Acidocis. So, with that diagnosis he is now on a sodium bicarbonate 3x daily. He hates this stuff becuase it is like drinking pure salt. We have tried to disguise it in many different things but in the end it is just easier to give it to him straight. The stuff really does taste nasty....spoken from personal experience. This is something that Gavin will outgrow and usually only takes about 6 months of medication to do so. It is very common in infants.

Gavin is still receiving synagis once a month to keep him RSV free for this winter season. At his last shot appointment....last weekend, Gavin weighed in at 14lbs 7oz. He is still a little peanut. Just remember though, he is small and mighty. He remains on the synthroid for growth as well.

Developmentally Gavin continues to amaze us. He is very good at cruising and has become very daring within the past days. He is working to transfer from the table to the couch and only using one hand. Wow! Makes mommy very nervous. He cruises just about anywhere he can stand and hold on to. We have had to lock all the cabinets in the kitchen and tonight upon opening all the drawers in the kitchen, we discovered we may have to lock those as well. He loves to climb into the pantry and paruse the food choices. He is still working to steal daddy's pack of those Kit Kats which seem to be calling his name. It is only a matter of time before his confidence takes him to complete walking.....er......running!

News Flash......Gavin HATES socks. Truly he hates anything on his feet. Tonight we were in Target and I caught him with both socks in his hand dangling them over the side of the cart. He was going to ditch those suckers....but mommy caught him....red handed! Needless to say, the socks made their way to my purse and his tootsies were cold when we went outside to the car.

His language development seems to be exploding these days. He is experimenting with all sorts of sounds and starting to blend them together. Last week was an awesome language week for Gavin. For the first time ever my little boy said "Mama" I tell you, my heart melted. This is our baby, whom we were not even sure would make it home and now he is calling me "mama" I think I will ride that high for quite some time. Today we did hear some rendition of No No come out of his mouth.....boy I cannot wait to have him saying that all the time......

He loves to eat. He will eat just about anything you put in front of him. He really is like our little Mikey! So what is his favorite....Smores Pop Tarts. Chicken. Green Beans. Milk. Crackers. Cheese. The list goes on......and did I tell you he likes to spit food too? This has become Gavin's newest meal time trick. He is eating along all happily and then suddenly he gets this little grin....you know, the one that says watch out cause I am up to something.....next thing you know either you or he is covered in whatever was in his mouth....and then he laughs. Laughs and Laughs some more. Did I tell you that I think parenting him is going to be a challenge?

He is a happy baby. He is always smiling. He is always laughing and he is ALWAYS up to no good! Our God is good. Even though I shake my head many days and wonder how I even go to the bathroom.....which by the way, is a favorite playtime spot for Gavin, I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to be his mom. To watch him learn and grow and explore his world is just amazing. I would not change a thing about him....challenging or not. Each day brings a new surprise with Gavin and each day brings new smiles and laughter for mommy and daddy.

I will say this up front for all of you who have been with us for our entire parenting journey.....Gavin is everything that Ian and Brooke were not. And so, our journey continues. We have new challenges now. We are so thankful for the opportunities that the Lord presents us with and we are prepared for the challenges that lie ahead.

Ian and Brooke continue to do well in school and just enjoy life. Brooke is reading and writing at a 1st grade level and Ian continues to grow his social life this year. At some point, we are hopeful that the academic growth catches up. For now, we are happy to see him making friends and taking risks socially. Soccer and baseball season start in March and they will be back in full swing again. Ian is beginning to think about the upcoming spring Pinewood Derby. Car kits should be coming home in the next few weeks. I am sure daddy and Brooke will make cars this year too. Who knows, maybe mommy will even make one too. They are very excited to have a few days off of school this week.

Colin's job continues to go well although it is very busy. He is traveling quite a bit right now but should slow down some as January comes to a close. He will be in Salt Lake this coming week and then has a marathon trip the last week of the month in which he will be in Montgomery, St. Louis and OK city all in the course of 5 days. I am sure he will be tired but Colin loves a good challenge and he is up for it.

As for me, my job is changing and growing every day. Gavin surely keeps me on my toes. I have been faced with some health challenges and it has forced me to take a healthier approach in 2009. I have committed to lose 25 lbs by the end of March and have feverishly been working towards that goal. Since starting this personal journey, I am pleased to say, I am down 8lbs and feeling better each day. I try to make it to the gym at least 4x during the week and I am following weight watchers online. I simply do not want to have to take meds to get my blood pressure issues under control. With diet and exercise I should be able to manage this on my own. In the end I will feel better and be healthier as a result. I ordered the remaining pieces needed to set up my photo studio here at home. They should be arriving in the coming days and I cannot wait to play.

That's it for our long update. Very much overdo I know. I promise to be better about updating in the future. Thanks again for all of your continued love and support. We truly have the best friends and family ever.

Peace and Love-

Colin, Juanita, Ian, Brooke and Gavin

December 2, 2008

2008-12-02T14:41:00.007-07:00

"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Well here we are the beginning of December and it is hard to believe that Christmas is only 3 weeks away.

We had a great time surprising Colin for his 40th birthday. It was a fun time for all. The kids and I planned a surprise party and invited about 30 of our closest friends and family. I think Colin was truly in awe and had a great time just being together with friends.

Thanksgiving in our house was one of the best ever this year. It truly was stress free and quite relaxing. The kids had a great time playing Wii with grandma and papa and we all indulged just a little bit on food. Gavin loved turkey and mashed potatoes. He even gave stuffing a try! We had so much to be thankful for this year and being able to spend it with family only made it more special!

I don't really know what to say to you about Gavin these days.....but this.....He is TROUBLE with a capital T! He is cruising very well now....steps included. He knows very well how to get up the steps but his theory on getting down is to free fall. We are working on coming down the "safe" way! He climbs up and just smiles at you as if to say..."you lookin at me?" He is a professional at standing in his highchair....why sit when you can stand is his theory! He loves to grocery shop standing up too.....makes it quite a challenge to get stuff in the cart and make sure he stays in the cart too. His vocabulary is really expanding now and he babbles all the time. He loves to say Bye Bye and on a good day he will wave at you too. He is a very good kisser....you know, the wet sloppy kind! He has recently discovered cars and if they move that is all the more better for him. He is now on Synagis for the winter and gets a shot once monthly. This is to hopefully prevent RSV. He will continue this until May. He got 2 new pairs of shoes this past week because believe it or not....he finally grew to a size 1! He is still a bit over 13 lbs but eating like a champ. I think he gains very little because he is so active these days. We spent a good week with him and the stomach flu. Poor baby just did not feel well at all. He is back to his normal self now. He is also sporting 4 teeth these days....he invites you to put your hand in his mouth and then gently chomps down!

With Christmas being 3 weeks away, our house is full of busy-ness these days. The kids have 3 weeks of school left and Colin is officially entering concert season. We are working to finish up our shopping and just relax some. This weekend will be our annual treck to the woods to find the "perfect" Christmas tree. The kids are very excited and Ian is sure he is going to cut it and carry it this year. This I want to see! We hope to be able to capture the "perfect" kid photo so we can put it in Christmas cards as well.

We hope each and every one of you are well and enjoying the season. Thanks for your continued love and support.....each and every one of you hold a special place in our hearts and we thank God for you each and every day!

Until next time....

Peace and Love,

Colin, Juanita, Ian, Brooke and Gavin

November 10, 2008

2008-11-10T20:44:00.007-07:00

"We give thanks to God always for you all, making mention of you in our prayers."
1 Thesselonians 1:2

Happy Fall!

It is that time of year again that we take time out of our busy schedules and reflect with much gratitude for all that we are thankful for. Our house is not exempt from this process. This year is special for us. We enter into this holiday season with hearts full of joy. This year we are able to celebrate the holidays together as a family! We are able to rejoice in the wonders of our awesome God and all that he has done for us.

Through grace we are able to be in this place. Brooke has a disk of music from Bible school this summer that has a song about grace on it. It is indeed true that grace is A. Unbelievable B. Indescribable and C. Unexplainable! The book of 2 Corintheans truly explains it all.... “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

So what are we thankful for this year? First and Foremost we are thankful for all of our wonderful friends and family who have continued along this journey with us. All of your prayers and positive thoughts lend us support that carries us along in our journey. Without all of you and your support, we would be nothing. I personally am thankful for my parents who stand by us through thick and thin. They have made our kids a priority in their lives and show it daily. They have supported these kids in ways that thank you's just cannot repay. We are thankful for Colin's job. He has been faced with many new opportunities this year and he continues to be blessed with rewarding challenges along the way. We are so thankful for our church home and community who continues to stand by us. Many Many continued thanks to the NICU staff at Littleton Hospital for all that they have done for us. Without their never failing support for Gavin we would not be where we are today. Most of all we are thankful for the opportunities that we have been given this year to grow individually and as a family. We are thankful for the love that has truly blossomed in this house. We are thankful for God's grace that surrounds us every day in every way!

We are thankful also for the progress that Gavin continues to make. Is it fair to put stipulations on thankfulness? I mean can you be thankful but also not so thankful at the same time? He is growing up right before our eyes. He is everything that his brother and sister were not! He tries everything that his brother and sister did not. Recently, he has discovered doors! Yes, you did actually hear me correctly when I said doors. He can spend hours with doors. He loves to lay and open them then close them then open them then close them. One may say....what is the problem with that? Seems harmless right? WRONG! Last week I had been cleaning house a bit when I noticed Gavin was absent....as in no where to be found. I called to the other 2 kids to see if they were by some slim chance playing with him elsewhere.....to my dismay, they had no clue as to his where abouts. So, as any mother would do, I hollared for him....STUPID....given the fact that he obviously didn't answer. I was a bit panicked at this point...so I began to walk the floor room by room trying to locate my lost child. Not under the dining room table, not behind the dining room door, not under the kitchen table, not stuck in between the couch and cofee tables, not in the laundry room....Ah HA! The bathroom door is shut.....open it and what to my wondering eyes should appear....my lovely child, happily playing in the toilet! Now, while you are laughing I want you to know I truly am thankful for his sense of independence and exploration...not so thankful for his sense or lack there of of FEAR or anything similar. No other child has stood up to the toilet in this house until Gavin....no other child has stood up to drawers in the kitchen and pulled them out until Gavin....I just cannot wait to find out what other tricks he has up his sleave.

So, my thanfulness with Gavin is for the opportunity to spend all of this time with him and even in my frustrations be able to laugh and say.....this kid is meant to be. He may keep me on my toes from morning til night....but it is all worth it at the end of the day when he so willingly gives kisses and then fades off into a deep sleep.

He is working to master saying "Bye Bye" and has recently added the wave to it as well. He now eats 3 complete meals of table food daily and really much rather prefers it to the bottle. He is working to master the sippy cup....but has had a relapse since we were on vacation. Dinner time is social hour for Gavin. He loves to be a part of the dinner hour conversations and babbles up a storm....still no sign of mama in that conversation though....oh well, you know they say, save the best for last! He is still weighing in at just under 13 lbs. No real weight gain in a months time.....wonder if it could be all that crawling that is burning off those calories....doctor says no worries if he is eating and sleeping and well adjusted....He cruises the furniture and I bet will be walking by Christmas.

Gavin went trick or treating for the first time ever. I really think he truly enjoyed the charriot ride for the hour or so that he was out. He likes to try to steal candy from Ian and Brooke....I am sure next year he will be running up the block.

Gavin and Brooke shared a tender moment this morning with the Target toy book for
Christmas. Brooke showed Gavin all the toys she wanted to buy him and he ate the book to show his approval. Christmas in this house is going to be simple and GRAND this year.

Colin and I will be spending the weekend in the mountains this weekend....what do you do without kids for 3 days? I guess we will find out. Next weekend is the starlighting and the kids are excited for that....hope the weather holds out for us. Thanksgiving will be here at our house and they are excited for that as well.

Time for me to sign off as it is getting late. Thanks again for all of your continued love and support. You all are truly wonderful!

Peace and Love-

Colin, Juanita, Ian, Brooke and Gavin

October 27, 2008 Disney World Edition

2008-10-27T13:29:00.012-06:00

"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Hello Everyone-

WOW! What a week we have had.

On October 16 we woke the kids at 6 am and surprised them with a video detailing our trip to Disney World over their fall break. Our plane left at 10:30 that morning and we were packed and ready to go. The kids had no idea. It truly was the surprise of their life.

We spent 8 sunny days in beautiful Orlando on Disney property. We were able to see all 4 of the parks more than once. We had some great meals and met some great characters along the way. The kids filled up their autograph books and posed for over 1100 photos. We would wake up and leave our room by 9 am most days only to return sometime around 11 or midnight.

I have to brag for a minute and say I have the BEST kids any parent could ask for. They were ANGELS the entire time we were gone. They begged for nothing, they cried for nothing and they were just happy go lucky kids. They had so much fun and were so consumed with excitement that lasted for days.

We learned a few things about Gavin while we were gone. He loves characters.....even Captain Hook! He LOVES rice krispie treats.....chocolate covered is best. He really can thrive on only a brief nap per day and still smiles like always. He loves to see a good parade! He likes elephants, giraffes and okapi. Tigger makes him laugh and Pooh does too. He thinks he is old enough to share a beer with daddy and not get caught. He likes to be a big boy and sit on the curb with his brother and sister for parades and shows. He can sleep through the noise of Indiana Jones and Beauty and the Beast. He HATES fireworks and really is not into 3D movies all that much. He does like to chew on 3D glasses. If you are not quick enough he now stands in his high chair and will make a move to get out....if he thinks you are not watching!

Gavin had his last flu shot the other day. At his appointment he weighed in just shy of 13 lbs. He is growing in more ways than one. He is starting to look more and more like a little boy and less and less like a little baby. He can pull himself up to virtually anything these days and loves to cruise. He adores his new activity table and will play there for hours. He likes to roll the ball back and forth with his brother and Ian claims he can play catch as well. He is still on Synthroid for growth and will remain on it for 3 years minimum. He will begin receiving synagis in November as we enter into RSV season. We are back into really good handwashing and being pretty cautious who we invite over that may expose him to that evil winter cold. While we were gone we discovered that Gavin was getting 2 more new teeth. Those top two are about to pop through any day now. I would look for Gavin to be walking very soon. He is very impatient and does not really like to sit still for too long these days....he wants to get down and go.

Ian and Brooke are back in school as of today. They were both excited to go back and tell all of their friends about their trip. Colin returned to work......a bit hesitantly I think.......as for me, just trying to get ourselves back into a routine. Gavin was able to take a 3 hour nap today. I was able to get to the gym this morning. The house is clean and I am working to finish the remains of Florida laundry. Life is good in our house.

We are looking forward to Halloween this week and the kids cannot wait to go trick or treating. Stay tuned to see their costumes because they totally changed gears on us last week. I will keep it a surprise for them to show to you.

Thanks again for all of your continued thoughts and support. This past week was amazing for us to be able to share together as a family. It was a treat for Ian and Brooke for all they were through last year when Gavin was in the hospital and to see their excitement and enthusiasm really was a treat for all of us!

Peace and Love-

Colin, Juanita, Ian, Brooke and Gavin

October 15, 2006

2008-10-15T20:58:00.002-06:00

Hey Everyone-

It's me, Gavin. I promised you that tonight would be the "BIG" night.

I have to tell you a few things though....my brother and sister, they don't know the secret....they will find out in the morning.

The other thing I want to tell you before I let you in on the big deal is that mommy wants everyone to be clear that I "AM" the baby in this house. There will not ever be another baby.....cause I am it. So for all of you well wishers thinking my sister might just get a little sister....It aint gonna happen....that's what mommy says. Besides, I like being the baby!

Ok now on to the big deal. Mommy and Daddy have been planning all year to take us on a special vacation. You know while I was in the hospital last year my brother and sister lived away from home for almost 5 months. It was hard on them so mommy and daddy and me too.....we wanted to do something special for them. So, mommy and daddy are taking us to Disney World. We leave in the morning and I cannot wait for Ian and Brooke to find out. They are going to be so excited.....poor Ian is worrying tonight about his math test for tomorrow and getting his reading for the week done before Friday. I told him "no sweat dude" but he didn't really believe me that it would all be ok.

I will see if I can post some pictures when I am down there. You know my daddy never leaves home without his laptop. So keep checking back and see what kind of fun times we are having.

I gotta get to bed now cause tomorrow is gonna come really early and I want to be well rested. Mommy told daddy tonight she was worried about me wanting to stay awake on the plane for the whole ride.....I guess time will tell huh!

I love you all....

Gavin

October 14, 2008

2008-10-14T21:53:00.002-06:00

Hey Guys-

Mommy and I were talking today.....my friend was there too! I think we decided that tomorrow would be my grand day to make my special secret known.

Mommy only said one thing.....that I had to wait til after Ian and Brooke are in bed....so tune in tomorrow night! I will try to make sure that they go to bed early. I think they might put up a fight over that though!

You are all gonna be so surprised...I can't wait!

Love,

Gavin

October 12, 2008

2008-10-12T18:03:00.003-06:00

Hey Everybody-

My friend and I talked about my secret again today.

He thinks it is BIG too! He reassured me that he won't say a word!

You all are going to be really, really surprised! I can't wait.

Now I am going to go play with my brother and sister....

Maybe I will chase them for a while. Mom says they sleep good after we play chase!

Love,

Gavin

October 10, 2008

2008-10-10T21:55:00.002-06:00

Phew!

I made it on here without mommy seeing me! She thinks I am fast asleep...hehe!

My brother was asking about my secret tonight....he thinks it is a Tree House!

I cannot wait til he finds out what it is....boy is he gonna be surprised cause it is HUGE...GINORMOUS...BIG....BIG...BIG!

Stay tuned to find out SOON!!

Back to bed for me....morning comes early ya know!

Love,

Gavin

October 7, 2008

2008-10-07T10:06:00.002-06:00

Hey Everyone-

I sneaked on here for just a minute to tell you....

SHHHH!! Still keeping my secret......but just a hint...

It's a big one!! Big, BIG, BIG secret....

You all are going to be surprised!

My friend isn't telling either!!!

October 7, 2008

2008-10-07T10:00:00.002-06:00

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness
Galatians 5:22

Hello to all our wonderful family and friends-
It is at this time of year that people begin to focus on the holidays. The weather is changing, leaves are falling and the days certainly seem a bit shorter.

Fall always brings a feeling of upcoming cheer.....anticipation for the months ahead.
We spent some time shopping this past weekend.....for Halloween costumes of course! Brooke has decided to be the queen diva Sharpay......no costume is necessary although, she was not convinced of this. Ian has chosen to be a vampire.....not much by his own personal choosing but with a bit of a creative mind and mom and dad's help. Gavin is still undecided.

This experience truly made me reflect upon the "season." This is the one time of year that you can be anyone or anything you want to be....and have approval for it. I just wonder if people really choose to be something they want to be......or do we choose to be an alter ego so to say.....something daring.....something far reaching....perhaps something that would not normally draw approval on any other day. So with that....it draws me to reflect on whether or not I am living daily....the life I want to live.

Do we live our life to the fullest....fulling embracing all opportunities that the Lord presents to us? The past year has been a challenge....that goes without saying. We have learned to look at life with a bit of a different vision.....I think for months, perhaps years even, we were living in the Halloween world of being anything we wanted to be....during this time.....we lost sight of what the Lord was calling us to be.

Today, we live fully clothed in the grace of God. We have embraced his challenges and we are excited for what lies ahead. We live embraced with love both for each other and as a family.
I know I have shared with you my fondness for Peter Mayer. His music seems to speak to us and about us more clearly than ever. It is as if he wrote them for us personally. Recently I have been drawn to his song "Blueprints." We have wrapped ourself around our blue print and we continue to learn and grow every day....individually and as a family...

There is a wind that moves all around us
Making the sound of a song if you listen
And yet we wander over the world
For a place to belong to replace what we're missing
We bring our differences, our hopes, our faith and fears
We'll build a home for love in this family
For the light that brought us here

Chorus
With a blueprint for living
Each new day is lifted up
For this house we lay a foundation
On the cornerstone of love

The face of this world is changing and turning
What are we learning and what is our vision?
We build the walls of strength deep inside us
They must not divide us, become our prison
We bring our differences, our hopes our faith our fears
We'll build a home for love in this family
For the light that brought us here

Chorus
With a blueprint for living
That calls you back from where you've been
In this house we build a doorway
To send us out and welcome in

There is a river of life all around us
It's our common ground, the gift we are given
Ocean and sky, the wild of the forest,
Were here long before us and meant for all children
We bring our differences, our hopes our faith our fears
We'll build a home for love in this family
For the light that brought us here

Chorus
In this blueprint for living
From the word that touched the earth
Round this house we plant a Garden
God's grace is our rebirth
Lend your voice in celebration
Lend your hand in lifting up
This is the day of creation
Built on the cornerstone of love

It is because of this "blueprint" for living that we are able to be successful in life. We are able to build our family based upon love. We are able to build that doorway to send us out and to welcome in. We are working on our garden......where grace has been reborn. These are the days of creation.......built on the cornerstones of love!

Gavin continues to do well....and really thrive! He is over his ear infections of recently and I think we are beyond the spots too....chicken pox seem to be all gone. He has new tricks now too. Gavin can now pull himself up on things. Just this morning for the first time, he pulled himself up to the couch. He is crawling on his hands and knees and only really uses the army crawl if he needs to get somewhere fast. He has mastered the task of getting himself stuck in tight places. I definately would have to say of my 3 children....he is the most precoscious. I think my years are going to be filled with running and chasing after him because he has NO fear! He has two beautiful new bottom teeth and has also discovered chocolate donuts are really good. His daddy would be proud to let you know that more and more often he is uttering the word "dada" The two of them have a bond like no other.

Ian and Brooke are excited for their fall carnival at school this week. They cannot wait to get dressed up and play games and eat candy with their friends. I think they especially like the cake walk. Ultimately, they cannot wait til Halloween....and, it's on a Friday this year so that means even more trick or treating.

We hope you are all enjoying the fall season and the changing of the colors. Thank you for your continued support. We could not have made it this far without all of you.....

Peace and Love-
Colin, Juanita, Ian, Brooke and Gavin

October 2, 2008

2008-10-02T08:42:00.002-06:00

Shhhhh.....I still have a secret!

I shared my secret with one of my friends.....

but....

I don't think he is gonna say a word!

Love,

Gavin

October 1, 2008

2008-10-01T08:46:00.002-06:00

Hey Everyone-

I have a secret......

Shhhhhhhhh!!! Don't tell......

It's coming up soon......so keep checking to see what it is!

And whatever you do.....don't tell mommy I posted this!

Love,

Gavin

September 30, 2008

2008-09-30T10:49:00.003-06:00

"Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:31

Hello to all our family and friends....

It has been a while hasn't it?

Life has been......well, LIFE!

Here we are in the beginning of fall. How did it get to be October already? We have been busy with kids in school, kids in sports, doctors appointments and other activities.

Gavin has had an interesting ride the past several weeks. He got an ear infection the beginning of September and was on antibiotics for it. It cleared up and 2 weeks later re-appeared. He is back on antibiotics to treat that and in the middle of the antibiotic treatment he now has what appears to be chicken pox. Poor baby cannot get a break. Through it all though.....he smiles!

Gavin had his well child check a couple of weeks ago. He weighed in at 12lb 4oz at that time but since then has lost a bit of weight from being sick. He is now on whole milk fortified with carnation instant breakfast for extra calories. He loves his table food and eats at his high chair 3x a day now. He loves to be a part of dinner time. Recently he seems to have an aversion to the bottle....presumably from ear infections however, only time will tell. He has changed his nap schedule to napping only once a day now.....which has been a bit of a challenge with school drop off and pick up times.

He is crawling......army and otherwise. Gavin is on the move. He officially took his first tumble down the basement stairs....lesson learned.....keep the door shut! He smiled when he got to the bottom. I think mommy was more traumatized than Gavin. He is sitting up very well now on his own. Just within the past few days he is exploring the option of pulling himself up on stuff. It wont be long now and he will be standing and cruising.

Ian and Brooke are doing well. They are busy with school, friends and sports. Ian is playing baseball again this fall and is working on his pitching and catching skills. He hit 2 balls in the game last week and was on cloud nine. Brooke is playing soccer again and loving every minute of it. She is star of the week at school this week so she loves being the princess.

Colin and I are doing well. We keep busy with work, chasing kiddos and attending many kid related functions. In between all of that we try to make some time for ourselves as well.

I hope all of you are doing well and enjoying our beautiful weather. Thank you for your continued prayers and support. Please continue to keep Gavin in your thoughts for health and healing.

Until next time......

Peace and Love-

Colin, Juanita, Ian, Brooke and Gavin

September 11, 2008 A Day of Significance

2008-09-11T13:32:00.005-06:00

There is one body, and one Spirit, even as you are called in one hope of your calling;
One Lord, one faith, one baptism, One God and Father of all, who is above all,
and through all, and in you all.

Ephesians 4:4-5

We arrived early because we were sure it would be a long day. Walking through the door, past the nurses station, I caught a glance of the surgeon. He had on a suit. Noteably a good sign. I commented that the suit must mean good things. We went back to room 4. We had become intimately familiar with room 4 over the past 24 hours. Gavin had made it through 2 surgeries and was resting in what we considered a comfortable yet drugged state. He was small. Really small. 14 oz of small at that point. Less than a pound.

We visited for a moment and then decided to let him rest. He needed his rest to grow and heal. On our walk to the exit the surgeon stopped us. It started out as a normal update sort of conversation. This was a good sign. He still had on a suit. No sign of scrubs for him anywhere.

His conversation took a sharp turn to his observations of Gavin that morning. He took great time to explain that the abdominal drain he had placed the night before did not quite seem to be working as well as he would have liked. It was draining, just not with very good output. He explained that in looking over a recent X-Ray, Gavin's abdomen was beginning to look worse. His blood results from the morning were indicating he was becoming more acidodic. A sure sign of infection of some sort. He offered up the last resort. An exploratory laparotomy. They were going to have to open up my sweet boy. My small, helpless baby. There was no further option. The surgeon was convinced that Gavin had NEC. NEC or Necrotizing Entercolitis is a fatal thing for almost all infants. In our case however, if it was NEC Gavin did not stand a chance. He was too small. This infection spreads rapidly and kills off the intestines. There is no cure or fix for it. He handed us the consent, asked us to sign it. With much fear and apprehension we signed after reading the prognosis of a 20% chance of survival.

The surgeon encouraged us to leave. Go home and get some clothes. Get some food. We won't start surgery for several hours. You will have time. Driving out of the parking garage, my mind racing, I made that call. The one I had been holding off on...because afterall, our baby was going to be ok. I couldn't bring myself to talk. I had to hand the phone to Colin. He explained to Pastor Ron that we desired for him to come before they performed surgery. We wanted Gavin to be baptized. The Lord works in mysterious ways. Pastor indicated to Colin that he had a feeling that morning that he needed to pay us a visit. He was already in the neighborhood and would meet us on the 3rd floor. We turned the car around.

I paced the floor. I seriously doubted my faith at that point. I could not believe that my God would let this happen to me.....let this happen to my baby. I was angry. I was scared. I was angry. This is stuff that happens to other people. The kind of story you read in Good Housekeeping or Parents magazine. This was not the story we would write. Reality....it WAS our story. It IS our story.

The elevator doors opened. He embraced me and I fell to tears. I told him I was angry. I told him God had surely confused me with someone else. He had me mixed up with a much stronger person. I asked the "why me" questions over and over again. We walked down the hall. Entering the unit, we were stopped. The sign on the door clearly indicated the unit was closed for surgery. I didn't care. This was my baby and he was going to be baptized. It was the only thing I could cling to at that point. They allowed us back....but were sure to indicate our time was limited.

A small beaker, normally used for first feedings, was now our font. Water from the faucet was now our "holy" water. We stood over this small, helpless child of ours. Pastor Ron laid his hands on him and blessed him. We prayed and prayed some more. We were finished and our child was placed in God's hands. For real. He was now a child of God. I felt some relief. The anger and scared feelings still circulated however. Upon our exit we were informed of a scheduling change. Surgery would begin in a matter of moments. The surgeon felt it important for Gavin to do it as soon as possible.

We walked out to that UGLY waiting room. I do want to affirm the UGLY part. The door closed behind us. The unit was now officially closed. Closed for my baby. For our story. Those walls....they were dingy. The carpet was dirty....obviously a long standing unit that had served many people in the past. The couches were vintage at best. Definately not the sort of thing you want to look at while pondering your child's life existance. Perhaps someday, they will make a change to a brighter, more cheery sort of room for these sort of things. My parents were with us. They came to offer support. I walked the halls with my mom. She did her best to distract me. Walking past the unit and Lynn, our nurse, emerged. "Dr. Ponsky wants you to know that when they opened Gavin up, he found no signs of NEC. Surgery should be complete in about 30 minutes and he will be out to talk with you"

Answered prayer will always shut your doubting heart up. It was silenced in a moments notice. This God of mine. He was there. He was there all along. He heard me. He heard my anger. He heard my fears. He heard OUR prayers. It was as if he placed his hand on my shoulders in that moment and said "walk with me!" I will confess to you in this moment, here today, I am not sure I will ever doubt again because my God....he proved me wrong! He proved to me that even when I am at my darkest point and feeling no way out....he is there. He hears me and he walks with me.

The surgeon emerged with his report of a double bowel perforation. He had performed an illeostomy on Gavin and he would have an ostomy bag for several months. They could not consider putting his intestines back together until he reached, at minimum, 2 Kilos. I know hospital jargan...but for those of us who need lay terminology, that is roughly 4 1/2 lbs. Gavin had a lot of growing to do now. He had to grow and get strong. The next few days would be touch and go. He could begin feeds 10 days after surgery and it would be a slow process. With that brief explaination, he departed from our presence. Answered prayers. That's all I could say in that moment. Answered prayers.

We left shortly after surgery. We had been in the same clothes now for close to 36 hours and truly we did not look nor smell desirable. Gavin was resting and would continue to do so with the help of pain medication. God was with him and we knew it. We left in peace and with peace in our hearts that he was surely a fighter and we needed to fight with him.

It was on the car ride home that day that we learned of Makenna's birth. She had been born early in the morning to our friends Scott and Beth. They tried for hours with no success to have her on the 10th....but the Lord had plans for Makenna too. She was destined for September 11. Gavin was destined for September 11 too. After showering we stopped at the hospital. We rejoiced with Scott and Beth and admired their bundle of joy!

So, today, this September 11 we remember a lot of things. We remember those who so valiantly fought to save lives in buildings as they crashed to the ground. We remember those people who fearlessly gave their lives. We remember their families. We rejoice with Makenna and celebrate her 1st birthday. We celebrate with Gavin as our journey continues. We continue our walk with the Lord. The road is bright before us and as they say....the future is so bright....you gotta wear shades. I have my shades, do you have yours??? Today I want you to remember the word Baptism. The day we are born anew into the body of Christ. A day of celebration for sure!

Peace and Love-
Colin, Juanita, Ian, Brooke and Gavin

September 5, 2008

2008-09-05T20:47:00.006-06:00

"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you."

John 15:12-15

Have you ever pondered the meaning of the word friend??

I took a look to see what Webster had to say and this is what I found:

friend: -noun

1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile

Throughout our year long journey we had friends of many kinds. We had friends who were attached to us by feelings of affection and personal regard. We had friends who gave assistance and support and we had friends whom we were on good terms with.

I am amazed by the outpouring of love we have received far and wide. I am amazed by the never failing support we received from so many.

Throughout the year I have thrown out my thank you's to many. There are a few however that deserve the biggest "Thank You" of all.

The Lord truly blessed us with a wonderful staff of doctors and nurses who cared for Gavin day and night. These people truly were amazing. After spending 4 1/2 months with them they are like family to us. I want to extend some personal thank you's.....

To Vicky, one of our NICU NNP's......Our journey started with meeting you. I will forever remember our conversation the day I was admitted. You were so patient with us in explaining all of the what if's and how to's of a 25 week baby. You gave us confidence that even in a grim situation our baby would get the best care ever. You were with Gavin the night he went to PSL. Your love and compassion in that moment has forever touched our hearts. Gavin was and is as special to you as he is to us. Gavin came to know Vicky for her spa day treatments. I could always rest assured that he had the cleanest ears in the NICU when Vicky was working :) You celebrated with us his 101 days and he sleeps with his dalmation now soundly in his crib. You were with us as our journey started anew the day Gavin came home. Thank you for all that you have done for us and for Gavin!

To Kay, another NNP.....You were there for Gavin's grand arrival. You worked feverishly helping to intubate him in the delivery room. My heart was deeply touched the morning after I had Gavin when you came to my room with pictures you had taken of him. It meant so much to me to know that someone not only cared about Gavin but you also cared about me. You were with us the day Gavin was transported back to Littleton and you shared with us a grand "homecoming" of sorts. Gavin gave you many a scare with his breathing episodes and through it all you kept smiling and reassuring us that this too soon shall pass. You shared many special times with us as a family and we are forever grateful for having you as a part of Gavin's care team.

To Therese, another NNP......We met you when we toured the NICU the day before Gavin was born. You took time to show us around and made sure we had the opportunity to meet other NICU families who had similar situations to ours. We met Nicki that day and were able to see Dayton and his progress. You made us feel comfortable that we had chosen the best possible place to have Gavin. The day after I had Gavin I still remember the card you gave me with the Preemie Purple Heart. I wasn't able to read the card for several days......and to this day, it makes me cry. I forever cherish my purple heart and I wear it with pride! Gavin played a few breathing tricks for you as well and you were always there to reassure us that he would grow out of this phase and you would never let him go home acting that way.

To Jill, another NNP......I think Gavin was two days old when we got to meet you the first time. You were giving him an exfoliating treatment and made sure we were able to take pictures of him without anything on his face. You took time with us to explain how things were going and what we could expect around the next corner. You shared with us when Gavin debuted his build a bear Rockies outfit and you helped us to take the most adorable pictures ever. You fretted many a time in December trying to get an IV location that would not go bad when his blood sugars were so low. You shared Christmas with our family and truly made it the best day ever. I still remember coming into the family room to our Christmas tree and gifts for our kids that you had set up.....with Christmas music. I will never forget how you created magic for my kids when mom and dad could not be with them all the time. You helped to make it special for them. I will always cherish the moment when you shared with me that Gavin did not have a belly button. I still laugh thinking about the fact that it had been gone for more than 3 months before I realized it.

To Rose, another NNP.....I remember that day....Gavin was 3 days old and you insisted that I hold him. "He needs his momma's touch" My heart was touched. I cried. I never imagined I would be able to hold him when he was so small or so soon. You made us feel like we were an important part in Gavin's care and that Littleton truly was about a collaborative effort of both doctors, nurses and families. You were our shutterbug friend. We always knew we could count on you to play with us in the picture taking department. You helped us to capture Gavin with our wedding rings....photos which are so precious to us now. We played when Gavin was 2 lbs and took some Anne Geddes type photos with him in Colin's hand. This photo has now become a benchmark for Gavin. You took time to take pictures of Gavin for us for Thanksgiving. It was our surprise.....with a card from Gavin. We are forever grateful to you for helping us to capture those moments along Gavin's journey....

Cynthia.....Gavin's nurse.......where do I start....You will ALWAYS hold a place in our lives and in Gavin's. We spent a lot of time together.....we laughed and we cried. I always knew that you were there to support us emotionally along the way. Gavin loves you so much and to this day he knows your voice and responds. You treated Gavin like he was your own......which always made us comfortable when we could not be there. You shared your faith with us. You truly were an instrument of God's grace in our lives. We love you so much....

Tricia....aka Trixie!!! I will never forget the day we laughed and laughed so hard about your trip to Vegas. You were an awesome nurse and you gave so much to Gavin. You showed us care and compassion at every corner.

Cheryl.....You were with Gavin from the beginning to the end. You watched him go from Ventilator to nasal canula....you were with him the day of his big surgery in December and you always gave him awesome care. I always looked forward to hearing about your upcoming wedding and sharing life stories with you. Your conservativeness kept us well grounded in our NICU journey....

Wendy...Girl, you won my heart! You so patiently had to deal with me every night at promptly 8:15 when I would call for my nightly weight checks. Gavin gave you so many challenges in the eating department....to the point that I am sure you thought he would never take a bottle. You made Gavin his Christmas stocking and hung it above his crib. We always knew Gavin was special to you. You have celebrated many milestones with us over the past year and I know you will celebrate many more. I will forever remember you telling me you were not giving him that "binky" because he hated it. I still laugh about that every time I think of it. You were not only Gavin's caregiver but you became our friend. Thank you for all that you have done for us and for Gavin!

These are just a few of the many people who cared for Gavin....These people became our family. They were there for us emotionally every step of the way. They celebrated his milestones with us and cried with us as well. They took our other kiddos under their wing and made them a part of Gavin's care. They made them feel special. I have other shout outs to more staff.....but I cannot do it all in one chronicle or you could be reading forever......

Gavin has his big well child check this week and I will have some statistics for you. He continues to meet new milestones along his journey. He is officially "teething" and cutting his 2 bottom teeth. He is working to master his army crawl and can get anywhere in the speed of light. His birthday party went off without a hitch. We were so thankful to be able to celebrate this huge milestone in his life with so many.

It's late and time for me to sign off.......Thanks again for all that you are and all that you do for us. Until next time....

Peace and Love-

Colin, Juanita, Ian, Brooke and Gavin

August 27, 2008

2008-08-27T09:39:00.002-06:00

Wow! What a year!

I got in my car around 9 am to make that ever familiar drive. I knew that the roads would not be too crowded because rush hour was over. My mind was crowded though and it made the drive seem as though it took a thousand years. Flooded with emotion I turned the radio over to CD. Nothing seemed to give me comfort in that moment. I went through my checklist in my head. The house was clean. The kids were taken care of. Colin had gone to work as usual. It was me. All me. I had no idea what CD was in the player when I made the switch. Ahhhhh a good one....perhaps some peace in the moment. Ian had left his Peter Mayer CD from days previous. He is in love with Peter. We had just attended his concert at Bethany a couple weeks prior to this day. He got to meet Peter personally and really made a connection.

Ever Walk with Me Lord

Refrain
Ever walk with me Lord
Each night and day a rejoicing
With kindness the harmony, justice the beat
You've turned my footsteps to dancing
Oh Ever walk with me Lord

How can I come before You?
What worthy gift could I bring?
What glorious feast could I offer?
What songs of majesty sing?
Lift this heart of sadness into gladness by Your peace
Before I can come before You, You come to me

In my work I grow weary
Lost on this road of desires
Where is the path that leads homeward?
To bring me back to Your fire
Lift these eyes of sadness into gladness at Your peace
I am lost and weary, come shepherd me

A million voices surround me
How can I hear when You call?
When at last grace has found me Will I recognize it at all?
Lift this song of sadness into gladness at Your feast
To hear Your voice is calling, come walk with me

Refrain
Ever walk with me Lord
Each night and day a rejoicing
With kindness the harmony, justice the beat
You've turned my footsteps to dancing
Oh Ever walk with me Lord

I haven't listened to Peter since that day. Not because Peter is not an awesome singer/song writer but because Peter gave me comfort that day and his lyrics draw me to tears. I realize now that the song was written for me. There was a reason Ian had left that in the car. It spoke about me, it spoke about us and it spoke TO me and eventually, it spoke to US!

Today, as I work to complete my tasks at home in preparation for the grand celebration.....Peter will be playing! Today the song is different! Our songs of sadness have been turned to gladness....and truly our footsteps have been turned to dancing!

So, Ever Walk with Us Lord.......as we enter into a new phase of our life. Walk with us Lord as we embrace the challenges that you give us. Walk with us Lord as we learn what it is you have in store for us. Finally, Walk with us Lord as we embrace your Grace and continue dancing!

Today, one year later, I am not bedridden! I am not resting! I am dancing! Are you dancing with me?

You can check out Peter by visiting his website at www.petermayer.com. Be sure to listen to some of his sound clips.....it will make you want to have that CD!

Peace and Love-

Colin, Juanita, Ian, Brooke and Gavin

August 21, 2008

2008-08-21T08:55:00.007-06:00

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever"

Psalm 107:1

Ode to Spaghetti.....

Gavin has mastered the task of rolling over so now he has moved on to mastering the task of eating table food.....

Observe in the pictures how well he does!

He loves his food and gets more and more into it every day.

Tonight we will try pizza!

Peace and Love-

Colin, Juanita, Ian, Brooke and Gavin

August 20, 2008

2008-08-20T08:30:00.004-06:00

Let me take you back to March of 2007 for a moment if I may. It was a saturday and we had just concluded Ian's 8th birthday party. The house was a mess with wrapping paper and remnants of cake and what not. Ian had received several Target gift cards and was eager to use them. They were burning a hole in his pocket so to say. So, off to Target we go with the birthday boy in tow and his little sister following close behind.

As always, when we go to Target, we have to peruse the aisles checking out clearance items and what not. We are walking back by the pharmacy and I decide to take a detour. Stopping in front of the home pregnancy tests I decide to just plop one of those E.P.T. suckers in the cart (only regret.....I didn't buy the digital test for dummies). Colin remarks "you don't really think you need that do you?" To which I replied with a smile "No, but I will humor myself for a moment." I was really humoring him with that comment in that moment.

We get to the toy department and spend a good amount of time carefully inspecting each and every toy so that we pick just the "right" one. After what seemed like hours we were on our way....gift cards down to balances of zero and that E.P.T. sucker in my bag now in the back seat.

We pull into the garage and the van door bearly open and Ian tears out of the car, his goods in hand. I had hardly set one foot inside the door and there were boxes flying and toys all over the place. You see an 8 year old is very skilled in the destroy and conquor division of life....they can open any toy in a split second, destroying all evidence of a box or packaging with little to no effort.

I casually took off my shoes and took that E.P.T. sucker upstairs with me. Now, infertilty days tell me you should always wait and use first morning urine...yadda yadda.....my head told me, be like your 8 year old son and rip that sucker open.....it was screaming USE ME NOW! Only one other time had I seen a pregnancy test turn positive with evening urine and it was 4 years prior when I bought a test for my friend Jen......so I was optimistic!

I did the deed......and to my amazement the darn thing turned flaming positive before the test was even complete. I had never in my life had a test turn positive so quickly let alone not doing it in the morning.

So here I sit...in utter amazement and the only thing I can utter in that moment is "uh Colin honey, we need to talk" He casually joins me in our bedroom.....glances at the ever so positive test and says well.....it wasn't in the plans but it will all be ok. I was ever so impressed with his casual and calm approach to things in that moment.

After years and years of infertility treatments to conceive both Ian and Brooke. We never for a moment thought that we would ever get pregnant naturally.....let alone 2x naturally in a years time. I had previously lost a baby at 10 weeks in October. We were shocked and my doctor was shocked. We went through all of the traditional high risk preganancy routines as well as a few more because now I was considered advanced maternal age.....because I was 35.

Fast forward to a year ago......Have you ever pondered the fortune cookie? Every day millions of Americans enjoy this dessert experience....many people read the fortunes in them and laugh....some people read them and ponder and others read them and put them in their pocket for safe keeping (Colin loves to keep all of his fortunes). One year ago if I had been sitting in a Chinese restaurant and cracked open my cookie to find a message that said "Something big is going to happen and your life is going to change forever" I would have been one of those people who read and laugh. I would have laughed and said yeah right.....

Little did I know.....Little did we know....Something big was going to happen and it has changed our lives forever......

His name is Gavin and he has taught us so much about life. Personally however, I have learned so much......and have grown so much.

I have truly learned first and foremost that faith is "believing in things unseen" To truly have faith you have to truly let go and let God. Faith to me is the total absence of self control so to say. A time and place where the only control one has is in prayer and believing in things unseen. We are a finite people and God is infinite. To have faith means we sometimes need to "chill" out and as Psalm 46 says "Be still and know that I am God" I will not lie to you and say that my faith has not been tested over the past year. It would be impossible for me to take that stance. They say that the Lord will never give you more than you can handle.....trust me, on many occassions I wondered if he really had me confused with someone else. Someone much stronger...with much more stamina and will power than I.

Colin and I have learned about the importance of family and working together. Our marriage has grown so much in the past year. I have learned what a beautiful husband I have and what a support system he is to me. He was my rock for many many months during that NICU stay and he continues to be my stronghold even today. Many days I am not sure that I would have made it without him. His love and support were never failing. We have learned that LOVE is the root of all happiness and that money really cannot buy you anything. Material wealth is just that...material.

We have learned the importance of friendships. Without the outpouring of love and support from our friends, many days would have been difficult for us. We also learned what true friendships look like. I have personally learned that you should never take a friendship for granted and that, as with all relationships, friendships to, require work. It is true that people come into your life and they go......but a true friend will be by your side through thick and thin. I personally have learned that I want to be that true friend....like the ones who have stood by us for the past year.

We have learned that you should never underestimate the power of God's people. Through our journey we have met so many people along the way. Many shared with us in prayer and many shared their similar stories with us. I received countless emails from complete strangers. To know that our story touched so many......really gets to the heart. When God's people get together in prayer.....watch out....because the outcome is something so beautiful that even I cannot fathom it some days.

So, for those of you who may have wondered, YES we do believe God has big plans for Gavin. They are very big......he is here for a reason. From conception to birth his life is a miracle of God's love and grace. He is going to set this world on fire....one day at a time!

Peace and Love-

Colin, Juanita, Ian, Brooke and Gavin

August 14, 2008

2008-08-14T21:20:00.006-06:00

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Romans 5:3-4

Hello to all of our faithful followers-

Sixteen days and counting until Gavin reaches that huge milestone in his life. Over the past week he has grown so much.

Look out world cause here comes Gavin! He is officially on the move. He rolls all over the place and is starting to work on that ever famous army crawl. If you leave his sight for merely a minute you will come back and find him in a new location and asking yourself.....how did you get over there? His new found accomplishment has created a whole new set of problems for him. He will not stay on his back for anything.....so sleeping has become an issue. When you put Gavin down he immediately rolls over and then gets upset because he is not used to sleeping on his tummy....so he cries. I think he will figure out soon that staying on your back for sleep is a good thing.

Gavin has discovered a whole new world in eating the past week too. His daddy introduced him to apple butter and the rest is history. He is now able to sit up in his high chair and be a "big" boy....with a little help from a trusty towel to prop him up! He loves to be a part of the family at meal time. I offer him ham and cheese and daddy comes along with graham crackers and apple butter. I was quickly shown up and ham and cheese apparently just dont cut it.

I have shared with you so much about our journey with Gavin but there is so much left to share. We have learned so much along the way and been blessed in so many ways. Our God is an awesome God and his people are incredible people.

Throughout our journey we had some friends who stood by us through thick and thin. We met Jann and Jim when Ian was born and in the NICU at Swedish. Their daughter had also given birth to a preemie. Our friendship has grown over the years and we have shared many joys and triumphs with them as we have watched our little preemies grow into big kids. This Gavin Chronicles goes out to Jann and Jim. God has so richly blessed us with your friendship. Every day, from the day Gavin was born, Jann spent time out of her schedule to stop at the hospital and spend time with us as a family and with Gavin. She came to us when Gavin was transferred to PSL. She was there to help the nurses when mom couldn't be there. Both her and Jim prayed with us on many occassions. They truly were a lifeline for us. We spent many a moment crying and many a moment rejoicing in the little things. We shared fellowship and we shared meals. Through it all your love and dedication to our son shone through. There was NEVER a day that went by that you missed a beat. We are forever grateful for your never failing presence in our lives. We are so honored to call you Gavin's Godparents. For all that you have done for us....Thank you!

We cannot thank our own church home enough for their love and support through our journey. From the time I was admitted to the day that Gavin came home.....and even to today, their love and support has been so incredible. To see God's love and grace in action in our lives just really touches me to the core. We came to know Kirsten so well over the months. She helped to organize meals for our family. She came to the hospital when I was on bedrest and we prayed. She was there when Gavin was born and was one of the first to witness his presence. Pastor Ron just happened to have a "gut" feeling to show up at PSL.....the day Gavin had 3 surgeries. He baptized our son and prayed with us as we entered one of the most scary times of our lives. Kirsten was with us when Gavin had his eye surgery.....with us again when he had his intestines reconnected and she was with us to see him go home. She came to our house to bless his homecoming. We shared in his reaffirmation of his baptism and shared fellowship as well. We are truly honored to say that Bethany is our church home. God is truly working amazing things with his people. Thank you to all of the pastors, staff and congregation for all that you have done for us over the past year.

Our journey continues and each of you play a part. This is only the beginning of many great things to come. I am so excited to have each and every one of you along with us for every step of the way.

Thanks again for all that you are and all that you do.....

Peace and Love-

Colin, Juanita, Ian, Brooke and Gavin

August 4, 2008

2008-08-04T15:13:00.003-06:00

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

2 Corintheans 9:8

Hello to all our friends and family-

Gavin and I had a little chat this morning about life. I was telling him all about his big day coming up and he just grins at me.....as if to say, yeah yeah mom! I shared with him about all the times we have shared together. Some of them have been scary, some of them momentous, some of them downright funny, and most of all, they have all been shared in LOVE. I want Gavin to know more than anything the outpouring of love that he has. He will always know what great family and friends we have. He will always know the important role that each and every one of you have played in our lives over the past year.

Looking back over the past year, I am flooded with memories. Memories of bedrest at home, memories of bedrest in the hospital.....oh those nights when my room was filled with people and we would just laugh (yes Jill Tasei, this one is for you) for hours. Memories of a delivery room filled with over 25 people all anticipating the birth of our "little" boy. Memories of that first time I saw his face. Memories of meeting other NICU families.....Nikki, I am not sure where I would be without you! The list goes on......we have so many memories.....so, over the course of the next few weeks we will share with you our memories of our experiences with Gavin the past year.

These are the memories that I have not shared because The Chronicles began after Gavin was born. So much of the love and support began well before Gavin was born so I will share those with you.

Today our memories start in July of 2007. I had been seeing the doctor 2x a week for high risk pregnancy issues. We knew at this point that Gavin's growth was a bit behind....however, not really anything too scary....just yet. I followed the orders and stayed in bed here at home for about 5 weeks. Ian and Brooke spent a lot of time with Grandma and Papa and other friends while daddy was at work. Ian started a new school. I was able to take him to school that day but then immediately came home and went right back to bed. He was in the midst of his huge popcorn sale for Boy Scouts as well. I was able to get caught up on some movies I wanted to see. I mastered the task of riding in those silly little scooters at King Soopers and I came to like eating in bed more than just for breakfast. The kids went with Jann and Jim to Elitches on August 26 for Lockheed Day. The Black's so graciously took them since mommy could not go.....they are ever so thankful for that day! I woke up on the 27th feeling like something just wasn't right.....so with that, I called the doctor's office and went in right away.

They were able to locate Gavin on the doppler right away with strong heart tones and movement. My doctor is not in on Monday so I saw his partner. We decided together that I probably should take a walk next door to the perinatologists office just to be safe. I think, looking back, this was one of the most terrifying moments in my life. I recall being by myself....knowing what the outcome of the day would be. I was scared and I was alone. The perinatologist did several scans which clearly revealed that Gavin's growth had fallen way behind. She was very concerned with the fact that on the scans she was seeing absent flow between the placenta and Gavin. In that moment I had an amnio performed...much against my own will......the outlook was grim. She recommened full bedrest in the hospital for the duration of the pregnancy. In addition to full bedrest she wanted 24x7 monitoring on Gavin.

After about 5 hours of monitoring it wasn't clear yet that I would not deliver that day. Gavin was having heart decelerations and you could see he was clearly in distress. His heart rate was not reflecting that of a normal healthy baby. At about 6 pm the doctor's decided that I was ok to make it at least through the night. At that point all I wanted was food. It is really a scary thought when you begin to crave hospital food in desperation.

I spent 4 days on complete bedrest before the world came crashing in. Each day held new challenges and new fears. I was surrounded by family and friends and short of late nights, there wasn't too much time that I spent alone. My kids would come and visit every day when Ian got out of school. They would not stay long because Ian was scared. My heart would break to see them leave. Brooke struggled being away from mommy and she would just cry. I remember fondly those nights of my room being filled with friends and we would just laugh and laugh for hours. They say laughter is the best medicine and when you are faced with delivery at 25 weeks, I really do believe them. Each day someone would bring me food from different places so I had some variety because it was clear I would be eating hospital food for quite some time. Oh the cheesecake, the Fazzoli's, the Pei Wei, Red Robin, Fat Burger and the list goes on. I ate well when I was there. It was in those quiet moments, those moments spent alone during those four days I came to realize that the only thing that was going to get me through this was faith and nothing else. My family could not change this, my friends could not change this and even the doctors could not change this. God alone was in charge and I had to believe he would take care of me, he would take care of us, and he would take care of Gavin. A final ultrasound on Friday revealed almost complete reverse flow between the placenta and Gavin. There was no other choice but to deliver. On ultrasound, Gavin was estimated to weigh only 1lb even.

So today, as I address envelopes for his grand birthday, I am feeling a bit teary eyed thinking about last year and where I was. It was a scary time for all of us but through it all God is good. His steadfastness has endured forever and he has always been there by our sides even when I thought I could take no more.

After our little chat where I got all teary eyed Gavin just wanted to cut to the chase. He was checking out his invitations wondering who all we were going to invite. When I say checking out, I really mean trying to eat them.....somehow he thinks that braille is done with your tongue and to really see something you must eat it, mangle it and make it all soggy. We are going to have to teach him the benefits of using those eyes of his...instead of his tongue.

So, he asked me to unveil for you the grand invitation. He posed for this a couple of weeks ago and we have been feverishly working to make it just perfect. He told me to only show you the front though cause he didn't want to spoil all of the fun.....so watch your mail boxes for the real deal.

Gavin has been sick the past few days with a virus that we seem to be passing around this house. We all like to share alike so it comes as no surprise. If you could keep him and us in your prayers and continued thoughts for a speedy recovery that would be great.

Thanks again for all of your continued love and support. I know I have said it before but I will say it again and again that we would not have made it to where we are today without all of you. Each of you has played such an important role. We are forever grateful.

Peace and Love-

Colin, Juanita, Ian, Brooke and Gavin

July 30, 2008

2008-07-30T15:03:00.002-06:00

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"
Phillipians 4:13

Hello to our wonderful Family and Friends-

Summer is winding down here at the Philben house and we are now in the countdown to "when does school start?" We are also in another countdown here as well.....That is the countdown to Gavin turning 1!

Tomorrow marks his 11 month birthday and soon the day will be here when our "little" boy will be the big 1! We are in the midst of planning his birthday party. This will be a fun one and probably a large one too. It will be the first birthday party ever celebrated on a Sunday in the Philben house and it will mark the first evening party as well. Gavin is excited about his Luau theme and recently posed for pictures to use for his invitations. He says "Party on Dude!" He is planning a wonderful Hula Hoop competition and a Limbo gig as well.

Gavin had a few milestones this week as well. He has now figured out how to suck from a straw! Lil bugger loves to share drinks with daddy. He demonstrated his hard work for me with ease the other day with his blue gatorade!

Gavin has officially rolled over from his back to his tummy. He has been working on mastering this task for quite some time. He will not however demonstrate this task for Miss Beth, his physical therapist. I think somewhere he believe her mere knowledge of his skill will mean more work for him. She has caught on to him though....and she is moving him along with other tasks. We are now working to master the task of sitting up. He does pretty well with almost no assistance. Gavin loves to sit in his Bumbo seat and be with his brother and sister. He watched the Hannah Montana concert with them the other night in its' entirety! He thought he was so cool.

Gavin is starting to scoot a bit and mimic that ever famous army crawl. I do not think it will be too long before we see movement out of him. He is way to nosey to stay still for much longer.

He is starting to babble up a storm these days and his sounds seem to be increasing by the moment. Daddy coaches him nightly to say DaDa while mommy coaches him daily to say MaMa....we shall see who wins out on that one.

His one year appointment is in September and we cannot wait to see just how big he has grown in one years time.

The Lord has truly blessed us as a family over the past 11 months. Our walk in faith has been incredible and his grace in our lives is truly amazing. We have learned so much about life from Gavin. We have grown as individuals and as a family. The dynamics are incredible. God is truly good!

Brooke and Ian are eagerly awaiting the first day of school which is exactly 2 weeks from today. Ian was thrilled to find out today that he gets to march in the Douglas County Parade. He has always wanted to be a part of the parade and not just a spectator. This will be his big day! Brooke had her last TBall game last night and was able to get a big hit. She has done so well with her sports. She will be starting up with soccer again here in a few weeks. Each of the kids have their own blogs that they have enjoyed updating....with mommy's help of course. The links are on Gavin's page. Check them out if you get a chance. They love to see comments too!

Stay tuned for more updates as we have them......the countdown is on to the Big 1!

Love and Peace-

Colin, Juanita, Ian, Brooke and Gavin

The Gavin Chronicles, July 22, 2008

2008-07-22T15:29:00.008-06:00

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Hebrews 11:1

Hello to all our family and friends-

Welcome to the Gavin Chronicles online and live! It has been a month since I updated so I figure I will end the suspense....

Gavin had a check up today with Dr. Jim and he is doing so well. He weighed in today at 10lbs 12oz and was 23 3/4 inches long. This means Gavin has grown 11 1/4 inches in length since birth. Dr. Jim is very pleased with his steady growth and has no concerns. Gavin remains on the Synthroid for his thyroid and we will see Dr. Nayak for a follow up in August. All indicators show that he will remain on this regimen at least until he is 3 years old. He had to have blood taken today to test his thyroid levels......poor little man, they had to stick him 3x and even then the didn't get enough blood.....we are hopeful they can run the test with the amount they got.

Gavin still has physical therapy 2x a month and he just adores Beth. I think she thinks he is pretty cute too! He is still working to master the task of rolling from tummy to back. He can at this point get 95 % over and then he stops because his arm is in the way. He is also working on sitting. He got a Bumbo seat over the weekend and loves to sit in it and be included in events whenever he can.

Gavin is eating quite a bit of table food now and we got the go ahead today to add more. He can now have eggs, meat and peanut butter (the AAP recently changed the recommended guidelines for feeding). I am sure we will try these out over the coming weeks. He loves ice cream and has recently discovered graham crackers. As for vegetables, he prefers carrots or sweet potatoes. He would love to feed himself with the spoon if we would let him.

Gavin has learned very well from his papa how to blow raspberries.....and he loves to do it with food in his mouth. Silly Boy! He smiles all the time and is just a happy baby.

Dare I say we are planning a party!!! Gavin is turning 1 in August. It is hard to believe that a year has gone by. It is amazing to see the power of prayer and God's grace in action in our lives. In one years time we have learned so much about life and so much about each other.

We are doing well as a family. We have been quite busy with summer activities but they are winding down now as we prepare for school to start in August. Brooke has 2 T-Ball games left for this season and Ian's baseball season ended the last weekend in June. Brooke will start back with Soccer the end of August and Ian is looking forward to scouting events with the start of school. Both kids are excited about their teacher assignments and cannot wait to find out who is in their class.

Please continue to keep our family in your thoughts and prayers. We appreciate each and every one of you. We truly are blessed to have such wonderful friends and family. Thanks again for your never ending support. We could not have made it on this journey without you.

I have included a few pictures from our summer for you......

Peace and Love-

The Gavin Chronicles, June 13, 2008

2008-06-13T09:45:00.000-06:00

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
Isaiah 40:31

Happy Summer to all of our wonderful friends and family.......

It seems as though it has been a long time since I updated you last. So I have a lot to tell you.....

Gavin had his 9 month well child check the end of May (see I told you it was a long time). Things are going well. He weighed in at 9lb 2.5oz at that appointment and he got the go ahead to start table foods. He loves mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, french fries (do you see he is a carbohydrate addict?), watermelon, rice, and of course anything sweet. The doctor recommended an evaluation by an occupational therapist because he still has a good amount of tongue thrusting when you put anything into his mouth. Hopefully we can get this done over the summer. He is starting to show some catch up growth in the areas of head and length. The last area to show growth will always be in weight the doctor said. He did indicate however, that Gavin may be a candidate for growth hormones in the future. They will wait until he is 2 and then make that determination. He still remains on the synthroid and will have a follow up with Dr. Nyak in August. He will remain on this medication at minimum til he is 3. He still has prevacid as needed for reflux issues. All other meds have been discontinued.

In the development department he is about 50/50. Fifty percent of the things he is on at his actual age and the other fifty at his adjusted age. It seems as though some of his motor skills and language skills are more at the adjusted age. This is what they would expect from a 25 week preemie. He is a very interactive baby. He responds to just about anyone who will talk to him and he smiles all the time. He loves to play with his brother and sister and is still working on mastering the skill of rolling from his back to his tummy. He has long ago mastered the skill of going from tummy to back......probably because he hates to be on his stomach! He babbles up a storm but has yet to say mama or dada.....I am sure that will be coming soon. He seems to be more entertained by saying Ha Ha than anything else at this point. We are still working with Miss Beth our wonderful physical therapist. Gavin really does love her but she works him hard some days.....those are the days he just looks at her....instead of smiling and talking. She comes to see us 2x a month.

At some point Dr. Jim indicated that we will want to have a scar revision done on Gavin's stomach. I am not sure at what point this will be. When the time comes we will have to have an incisional hernia repaired as well. Currently the hernia is not large enough that it needs immediate attention. So, somewhere down the line we are looking at yet another surgery.

Gavin will have a follow up with the eye doctors this summer and I am sure they will give him a glowing review. He tracks well with both eyes and surely does not miss a beat!

He has spent his summer thus far enjoying the warm sun watching his brother's baseball games, watching his sister's soccer games, sitting at the pool and visiting with friends. In the coming weeks we will shift to watching sister's T-ball games and probably more pool time too. I am sure a trip or two to the zoo might be in order this summer as well.

We hope this email finds you all well and enjoying your summer. It surely is an adjustment to have all 3 kids home full time. I am still trying to figure out the whole parenting 3 kids routine. Going to the pool with all 3 kids definitely adds a whole new dimension to parenting. Brooke and Ian are both looking forward to school in the fall and cannot wait to find out who their teachers will be. Ian requested to be in the all boys class and Brooke is so excited about kindergarten. As for me, I am excited to have the house stay in order longer than 10 minutes......although I will miss them both immensly and I am sure it will be way too quiet when they are both gone.

Colin's job is going well and we are so thankful that the Lord provided him with an opportunity to be so much closer to home with the rise in gas prices. He made his first trip to Alabama in April and seemed to enjoy seeing the scenery and of course he loved the heat and humidity . He is currently working on a large project and seems to be really enjoying himself.

Thanks again to all of you for your unfailing love and never ending support. We would not have made it this far on our journey with out you. We are so blessed to be surrounded with people who love us so much. We are truly thankful for your continued prayers and positive thoughts for both Gavin and our family.

I have included a few new pictures of Gavin in his speedo at the pool. He looks adorable and most certainly is a chic magnet.......so here's to warmer days and lots of sunshine!

The Gavin Chronicles, May 19, 2008

2008-05-19T10:50:00.000-06:00

"May the God of all hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope."
Romans 15:13

Good Morning to all our wonderful family and friends!

Yesterday we celebrated with many of you the reaffirmation of Gavin's baptism. What a wonderful celebration it was. We gathered at the font as we blessed our child and we gathered as friends to celebrate the life of this beautiful child.

Our family is truly blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful people. You have prayed for us, you have cried with us, you have laughed with us, you have shared a table with us, you have offered financial support and most of all, your love has been never failing.

Almost nine months ago the Lord started us on a incredible journey. A journey marked with many emotions both high and low. We have experienced God's grace in our lives at almost every turn. Gavin has truly been a miracle and a blessing to us. He has taught us so much about life and how to live life to its' fullest.

We are so glad that you could celebrate with us on this special occasion. Thank you so much for your continued prayers and support.

Gavin weighs in now at 9lbs and is doing very well. He now rolls from his tummy to his back and tries very hard to go from his back to his tummy. He babbles all the time and is very social. He loves to hold his own bottle now and eats like a champ. He likes his solid food but I must say he seems to be partial to sweets.....hmmm wonder where he gets that from??? His favorite food is ice cream.....he just loves it! Gavin still loves to play in the water and bath time is always fun for him. He should love summer time with the swimming pool. He has now officially outgrown his preemie clothes and they are packed away. As a matter of fact he has now outgrown some newborn clothes as well and is moving on to 3-6 months!!! He loves to play and talk with his brother and sister and they love to spoil him rotten.

I have included a few pictures from yesterday however there were so many good ones that this email will have to be 2 part so I can include them all. The second half of the email will only be images....

Thanks again for all that you are and all that you do.......til next time.....

The Gavin Chronicles, April 7, 2008

2008-04-07T10:42:00.000-06:00

Hello to all our wonderful friends and family-

It's been a long time hasn't it. I bet you were all thinking that the chronicles were retired and mom had gone into hiding. Our absence is not without good reason.

On a lovely Sunday evening the end of February I had just read my email and set my laptop down on the bed to go and put Brooke to bed for the night. We read our usual story and did our usual bedtime girl talk. I casually walked back towards my room to find Colin diving across the bed for my laptop. I was a bit impressed with the urgency in his movements yet quite traumatized by the reason. Bottom line, the hard drive had failed. The heads crashed and were dead. The laptop would not boot....it was toast. Now you might say to me, what was on the laptop. Well let me say that one entire years worth of pictures were on that hard drive. Every picture that had been taken of all three kids was lost that night. All data was lost as well. Did we have a backup.....NO. Lesson learned. Hard but true. We took the drive to a data recovery place. I was hopeful for recovery. They promised recovery for a low price of $2400.00. It was in that moment that Colin and I put our heads together and began to reconstruct photos and see how far we could get. With the help of friends we were able to piece together about 90% of the photos.....which made me much happier.

So what have we been up to in the past month and a half. Well Gavin is growing!!! He had a well child check last week and weighed in at 7lbs 13oz. He has grown 7 3/4 inches in length since birth and his head has grown 6 inches in size. He has been off of oxygen for almost a month now and is doing wonderful. He had his last synagis shot last week....a sign that spring is on the way!!! He loves to smile and babble. He has learned how to roll over from his tummy to his back and man is he proud of himself. He likes to lay on his playmat and play with all of his friends. His new found love is watching tv with Ian and Brooke. They prop him up with them and he will sit for hours. The biggest news is that preemie clothes are officially too small. We are now into newborn size and in some cases even 3-6 month.

As for the family, we have been incredibly busy. The past month has seen us with Easter, Ian's birthday, Brooke's birthday, Pinewood Derby and the official start of the soccer season. Coming weeks hold soccer games, the beginning of baseball season, district Pinewood Derby finals, mother's day, our anniversary and Gavin's baptism.

The kids are doing well. Brooke is still in dance and has started up with spring soccer as well. She is on the same team as in the fall and the girls just love each other and their coach is amazing. Their first game was last week and it was fun to watch them all run around again. She will have her dance recital in June and then take a break from Dance for the summer......at minimum. She has decided she would like to play tee ball in the summer so we will get her hooked up with that as well. We registered her for Kindergarten and she couldn't be more ready.....she will start in August.

Ian is nearing the completion of 3rd grade and doing incredibly well this year academically. He is still active with scouts and will be playing baseball again this year. The season officially starts on April 21. He had his pack pinewood derby for scouts this past weekend. He took 2nd place in his den and will advance to the district pinewood race. He was so proud of his car. Not only did he win but he got an award for having the most racelike car. He will once again travel with grandma and papa over Memorial day weekend and he is very excited. He loves to go out on the 4 wheelers and just hang out with family for the weekend.

Colin is doing well in his new job and adjusting to the less stressful environment. He is out of town this week on his first business trip. He will spend the week in sunny Alabama.....and muggy, humid, hot Alabama!!! He has still been active at church with sound activities and recently kept himself busy constructing his own pinewood car that he raced in the parent race on Saturday. Daddy didn't do quite as well as Ian did....but his car looked really HOT!!!!

As for me, I am busy this week with 3 kids and trying to finalize arrangements for a birthday party on Saturday. I will be working with Ian on a school project this week in addition to baking cakes and getting the house ready. I have made it a point to get myself back to the gym on a regular basis and I sure do feel much better. It is nice to pull out the size 10's and be able to get them zipped.....gives me a goal to shoot for.

That's about all from our neck of the woods. We are so grateful for all of our wonderful family and friends. God has truly blessed us in our lives. We hope this email finds you all well and enjoying some of the spring sunshine. Please keep us in your continued prayers for continued health and well being for Gavin and the family.

The Gavin Chronicles, February 28, 2008

2008-02-28T09:33:00.000-07:00

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Phillipians 4:6-7

Greetings to all of our family and friends-

I saw the news yesterday. It was making a bold statement by scrolling across the bottom of the screen that Spring begins in 3 weeks. What an incredible revelation that was. That means in 2 weeks we have daylight savings and in a little more than 3 weeks we will celebrate Easter. Four weeks brings Ian's 9th birthday and 5 weeks marks Brooke's 5th birthday. This week marks Gavin's 6 mo birthday. A half year already.

Seems like just yesterday we were hovering around a giraffe bed praying for this miracle to survive. We were asking medical staff to give us hope of things unknown. Today, we find ourselves hovering around a swing, stroller, pack and play and many more, rejoicing in the miracle of life. Spring is about the miracle of life. Spring brings forth a time of new birth. So this spring as you look at those flowers budding, the new bees buzzing, and the baby birds chirping....think of Gavin and the miracle of life.....From very small beginnings come big miracles.

Gavin had his 6 mo well child check yesterday. He is doing amazing. He weighed in at 6lb 15.5 oz and was 19 3/4 inches long. He has grown 7 1/4 inches in length in 6 months. Now if only I could do that.....I would have far more options in jeans . Gavin's head circumfrance was 21.5 cm at birth and at 6 mo he has grown that brain to a size of 36.5 cm. Most of all he has gained 5lb 14oz since August. In looking at development, Gavin is on the charts for a lot of things at his chronological age (6 mo) and definitely in line with his adjusted age on all things (he is 11 weeks adjusted). He will continue to receive PT/OT in our home 2x a month until he is at least 2 years old. We are so thrilled to be able to have the same PT we had at the hospital. She is so good at what she does and Gavin just adores her.

The doctor drew labs yesterday to assess where we are with regards to some of Gavin's meds. His levels have dropped enough with his biliruben that we can discontinue the use of the Actigall he was receiving daily. His alkaline phosphate levels still remains a bit elevated although it is 1/2 of what it was at discharge. We will continue his Drisdoll for one more month. He will remain on Synthroid for his thyroid functions until he is 3 years old. We increased Gavin's prevacid dose to 2x daily to help him with some recent reflux issues. Poor little buddy had 4 shots yesterday and was feeling a bit under the weather by bed time last night. He was a trooper though!

Gavin's new accomplishment these days is smiling. He loves to smile. He has the most adorable grin and if you smile at him you are guaranteed to get a nice big gummy smile! He has started to laugh and he loves to experiment with his voice. He has discovered the animals on his mobile that hangs from his swing and they are his new best friends. He will sit for hours and laugh at them and talk to them. He adores Ian and Brooke and loves to lay on the floor with them and just hang out.....makes him feel like the big cheese.

Gavin saw the eye doctor last week and had his final R.O.P. recheck. He got a clean bill of health and now will just be seen for regular vision check ups. We will go again in June. He will be seeing the pediatric endocrinologist in the coming weeks to re-check thyroid function and medication dosing. We will have a follow up appointment with the surgeon in April. At this time we will discuss surgery to repair his incisional hernia.

As for us....Colin's new job is going well. He is beginning to adjust to the answered prayers of no stress. When he got this job he was told it was no stress but I am not sure he realized that that really meant NO stress. Our pastor last week gave us words of wisdom about being careful what you pray for because you just might get it. We prayed for months for a job for Colin that was no stress and closer to home and here we are.....another answered prayer. Ian is doing well in school and will be performing in his 3rd grade program tonight. They are doing a performance of Stone Soup. He will be playing baseball again beginning in May. Brooke is still hanging out here at home with mommy and being a big help. She still goes to dance once a week and will be starting back up with soccer here on the 10th of March. As for me, I keep busy trying to find the balance between being mom, wife and Juanita. Life is hectic some days but enjoyable most. I have been trying to get to they gym at least 3 time a week.....hopefully a smaller size clothes by summer.....

Thank you for your continued love and support. Our journey continues and we are excited by the opportunities that lie ahead. Please continue to keep Gavin in your prayers for continued growth and strength. God is good and his grace amazes us daily.

I have included a few new pictures of the kids....Enjoy!!

The Gavin Chronicles, February 11, 2008

2008-02-11T09:25:00.000-07:00

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Indeed, by faith our ancestors received approval. By faith we understand that the worlds were prepared by the word of God, so that what is seen was made from things that are not visible.
Hebrews 11:1-3
Hello to all our friends in cyber space-

Wow! Now before you all say something like "it's about time she emailed out an update....." Let me take a moment to explain life to you in the simplest terms.

Gavin was born on August 31, 2007 and he spent 130 days in the hospital enduring 5 surgeries and many trying times. During this period of time it was imperative to maintain good health and well being. That we did very well. During this time there was not a single sniffle or sneeze. Everyone was always free from germs and handwashing was imperative. We rejoiced in Gavin's homecoming on January 8 and then it all happened. In the past month I am pleased to announce that all 4 of us.....yes I say 4 because only one of us has remained healthy. I bet you cannot guess who the healthy one is? Gavin of course!!! I came down with the flu/upper respiratory virus the week after Gavin came home. I was followed closely behind by Brooke who graced us with a 103 fever for 5 long days. She was soon to be followed by Ian who seemed to remain relatively unscathed except for a minor cough. Well, guess what? That cough now amounts to a lovely 102 fever and a beautiful case of strep throat. There have been several times during these past few weeks that Colin has felt ill but he heavily medicates himself and miraculously recovers within one day. So you see, my absence is not for lack of trying.

Now I am sure you are all wondering about Gavin the great......

He is doing wonderful. He is such a good baby. I am truly convinced that the Lord gave him to me last for a reason. The reason you may ask....because if he were first I may have had 10 kids. Gavin is just so mellow and laid back. He really is a blessing to this family.

He weighs in now at 6lbs 5 oz and is growing like a weed. He loves to smile at you and has started cooing as well. Every morning when I take him out of his crib I can be guaranteed a big wide smile. What a great way to start your day. With that as the beginning who can have a bad day? We had a follow up appointment with the surgeon who thought everything with Gavin's stomach looked great. Only concern was that it seems Gavin has an incisional hernia. This will need to be repaired but the doctor wanted to wait til Gavin was a bit bigger but not too long. The tenative plan is to fix it in April sometime. Gavin has another follow up appointment with the eye doctor on Monday. This should be the last appointment for several months if all goes well. Gavin is sleeping well....taking usually an 8 hour snooze at night. He currently eats 3 oz pretty consistently every 3-4 hours.

We have been doing some random pulse ox's on Gavin per the doctors request. This is to find out where he stands with his oxygen needs. Currently, Gavin is on 1/32 of a liter of oxygen and appears to be moving in the direction of only needing oxygen at night. This however may be more of a pain than to leave the oxygen on all day. He sleeps so much that to take it on and off would become time consuming. The doctor suspects that Gavin's need for oxygen at all may be gone in the near future.

As for us, we are doing well......well as good as can be expected when everyone is sick. We have gotten into a fairly good routine and everything seems to be falling into place. The transition home for Gavin was phenomenal for this family and went off without a hitch. We took a family drive to Estes Park yesterday and were able to spend some much needed time outside.....fresh air is wonderful! The kids had a great time and so did Gavin. He had fun looking all around taking in the sights. We stopped at Colorado Mills on the way home and Ian and Brooke had a little shopping spree. Brooke of course went to Claires and Ian was thrilled to get to go to the Lego store.

Colin started his new job 2 weeks ago. This was a long time coming as he was offered the position back in November. They were finally able to get through the security clearance snags and get an interim clearance in place so Colin could start working. He loves it so far although it is quite an adjustment for him. This job is truly stress free. No pager, No Blackberry, No weekends, No evenings. Best part of it is that it is much closer to home for him. He has not worked this close to home since we lived in Parker and that was more than 7 years ago.

God has been good to us. His grace is amazing and we are blessed by it each and every day. We have such a wonderful family and group of friends. We are truly blessed to have each and every one of you in our lives.

Now my prayer requests begin to shift.....but just for a moment. Could you all please just put out a small prayer for sunshine and warmth long enough that we can open this house up and fumigate all the nasty germs that seem to be trapped inside. Pray for health and well being for our family......and most of all pray for Spring to come sooner than later.

Hope this email finds you all well..... We will update again at the end of the week. Until then......Peace and Love...

The Gavin Chronicles, January 18, 2008

2008-01-18T09:20:00.000-07:00

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6

Happy Friday!!

Hope this email finds everyone winding down from their work week and ready to relax over the weekend.

Gavin has had a great week this week. He saw the eye doctor on Tuesday and got an A+ report. He has to be re-checked again in one month and that may possibly be the last time. The doctor said we would make that determination at the next appointment. Ian had an eye exam too and he passed with flying colors as well.

Gavin has been a lean mean poopin machine this week. Poor thing had a butt rash that was cleared up....now it's back again and we are working to clear it up again. Now if I could just convince Cynthia, one of Gavin's nurses, to come and monitor nudie belly time so he could get open air....life would be good. In the mean time we will try to combat it with some different creams.

Gavin had his follow up visit today with Dr. Jim, our pediatrician. Jim thinks Gavin is just incredible. I think he said that about 10 times during our short stay. Gavin had gained 5 oz this week and now weighs in at 5lb 7oz. Not too bad for one weeks time. He checked out perfect and has to be reseen again in 2 weeks. He is eating like a champ now with his intakes between 3-4 oz each feed. You can tell he is gaining weight because he is storing it in his cute little cheeks.

We will be seeing the surgeon on Monday to follow up on Gavin's surgery from December. His wound looks pretty good all in all but mommy is not too keen on the sutures that are now surfacing. They really are pretty icky looking and we are hoping that Dr. Rothenberg will clip them when he see us.

Tuesday Gavin will get to meet the Douglas County early intervention team. They will be helping us out with PT and OT for several months. I am so thankful that we have these community resources available to us.

Gavin met the dog this week for the first time. I really am not too sure who was more worried, Gavin or Avalanche. Remember Avalanche will turn 1 on Monday so he is used to being the baby in this house......and now Gavin is the baby. The pictures below tell the story quite well. In the first picture you can see Gavin's initial reaction to Avalanche. His eyes were wide as saucers. Avalanche wanted to give Gavin kisses and then you will see Gavin looking at Daddy wondering if the dog stays or goes. The final 2 pictures were taken today. Gavin had just had a bath and the kids were leaving for the stock show. They always give their baby brother a kiss and hug before they leave. Then Gavin fell fast asleep......he is so darn cute you could just kiss him.

Thanks again for all of your continued love and support. We truly could not have made it this far with out you. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers...our journey is just beginning and I am sure there may be a bump or two along the way. Right now however, we just rejoice in the moment!!!

The Gavin Chronicles, January 13, 2008

2008-01-13T09:14:00.000-07:00

Good Evening-

Weekend....(I know better late than never) greetings from our family to yours.

Gavin has been home now since Tuesday and life is GOOD. We are settling into a routine.....well it seems routine.....all bets are off when daddy goes back to work tomorrow. Gavin is such a good baby. He is so mellow and just a laid back kid. He rarely cries.....as a matter of fact I am not sure he has cried at all since he has been home. Ian and Brooke are just adorable with him. They love to check on him a bazillion times a day. Ian has it in his head that he cannot go to school unless Gavin is awake to greet him prior to his departure......mommy says....never wake a sleeping baby....Ian has other theories on that plan.

We had our first appointment with our pediatrician on Friday. He was amazed at how incredible Gavin looked for having been so premature and so small at birth. He reminded us of what a miracle he is...... We will be continuing on the meds Gavin was on in the hospital and monitoring his blood levels to eventually work on weaning off of some of them. So far the med administration hasn't gone too bad now that we have figured out the groove of it.

Gavin is still on 24 calorie formula and will stay there because he needs to grow. He is eating like a champ and is working on increasing his volume.....thus evidenced by several 3oz feedings today. We will monitor his weight gain weekly.

We gave him his first bath at home the other day. He really does like his "spa" time. He had several nurses who spoiled him rotten in the nursery so he loves to get the whole treatment. You can see in the photo below just how much he likes his bath.

Well it's late and I am sure that the middle of the night will come sooner than later so I best sign off. I wanted to send a brief update with some pictures for all of you.

Thanks again for your continued prayers and support. We are convinced that we definitely have the best group of friends that anyone could ask for.

We will update again in the coming days.....

The Gavin Chronicles, January 8, 2008

2008-01-08T09:02:00.000-07:00

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
(Isaiah 40:28-31)

One hundred and thirty days ago our lives were forever changed by the birth of Gavin Eric Philben. That same day we placed our faith in God to someday bring our beautiful baby home. Today those prayers have been answered.

In a mere 130 days I have personally learned so much from this journey.....so much from this small child. Looking through Gavin's eyes I realize that life is about perseverance and that faith is believing in things you cannot see. I have learned that much of what happens to us is totally out of our control despite our best efforts to control it all the way. Let go and Let God really is more than a phrase that people say to you.....it is true. I have learned so much from Gavin about the power of prayer. We have been surrounded by such wonderful people from coast to coast who have stood by us in prayer through thick and thin. We have friends who have cried with us and laughed with us. We have shared this journey with so many. I have learned what a beautiful husband I have. He has been my rock, my stronghold and supporter even on days that seemed to last forever. He has stood by me through thick and thin, always with arms open and a shoulder to cry on. His strength on this journey has never wavered. I have a wonderful family who has so willingly opened their arms to being temporary "mom and dad" to my two other kiddos. Grandma and Papa will always hold a special place in these kids hearts. The Lord provided us with such a wonderful hospital staff. This staff was not only there for us medically but they were like family. They will forever hold a place in our hearts. They did so much for Gavin and us as a family that words alone could never pay back enough thanks. We rejoiced with them in each step of the way and we cried together too. Gavin meant as much to them as he does to us and for that we are forever grateful.

At one point during this journey I doubted whether or not I would ever see this day. We have been surrounded by such love and compassion far and wide. We are so thankful to each and every one of you who has kept us in your thoughts and prayers.

Today begins a new journey for us. Together, with God as our captain, we embark on new beginnings. We come together as a family and support each other. The future is bright before us and we are excited for the opportunities that lie ahead. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Always remember that God's will will never take you where his grace cannot sustain you. In times of doubt pause for a moment and "Be still and know that he is God"

The Gavin Chronicles will continue......however, the frequency may change. Please continue with us as we begin a new chapter on our journey. We love to hear from you and your continued support means so much to us.

I have enclosed a few pictures from Gavin's big day......I will update more.....hopefully tomorrow....after I get some sleep .

The Gavin Chronicles, January 1, 2008

2008-01-01T00:03:00.000-07:00

If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, "move from here to there," and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.
Matthew 17:20

Happy New Year!

2007 was a unique year for us. It was a year that presented us with challenges and excitement all in one. Somewhat a year of new beginnings so to say. We hope that each and every one of you finds 2008 off to a great start and that you receive all the blessings you deserve in the coming months.

Gavin continues to do very well after his surgery. His wound is healing nicely and looking better every day. He is really into the pooping business these days. He is on full feeds and on most days he takes more than his recommended amount of food. Currently he is on 24 calorie premature formula and gaining weight nicely and now weighs in at 4lb 14oz. Soon, he will be 5lbs.

Gavin continues to be on oxygen and will come home with it when he is discharged. He is not on hardly much more than a whif but it is enough at our elevation to help him out during the cold winter months.

Gavin's discharge is in the future. We are not sure of a date as of yet but it will be in the coming weeks for sure. We are excited and scared all at the same time. There were days that we never thought we would see discharge day and here we are.....I think the reality of a 3rd child will settle in long about the time we no longer get any sleep at night. The kids are excited for him to come home and ask about it in anticipation every day.

The Lord has truly blessed us in many ways over the past months. We are so thankful for all of you who continue to keep us in your prayers and daily thoughts. We are thankful for such a wonderful hospital staff who truly love Gavin and have given him the best start possible. Without all of you we are not sure how we would have made it some days.

I have included a few new pictures from Gavin's outting and from Christmas as well.....we will keep you posted with news as we have it....

The Gavin Chronicles, December 23, 2007

2007-12-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

"And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
Luke 2:8-12

Good Morning fellow friends and family-

We hope this email finds you all well and finished with your Christmas shopping and able to fully embrace the days ahead. As for us, we are still working on Christmas shopping, tying up loose ends..... We are looking forward to spending the next few days as family.

Gavin's surgery went well on Monday and he came through with very few problems if any. He was on the ventilator less than 24 hours and then went back on a nasal canula at very minimal settings......he is actually ready for room air.....so we will look for that to happen in the coming days. Our big news for the week is that Gavin had his first POOP ever on Saturday. I know it sounds silly but this really is very exciting for us.....it brings closure to the ostomy issues of the past. Colin was so excited by the news of poop that he even took a picture to save for Gavin's baby book.....personally, these are black mail pictures when dating time comes.....LOL! Gavin was able to begin feedings again yesterday at 10cc every 3 hours. He will gradually be increased over a period of 4 days til he is on full feedings again. This child is ravenously hungry at this point so feeding is a good thing. Gavin is going to have a big outting today so stay tuned for pictures from Gavin's big day. They have given us a grounds pass to take him out of the NICU so we will be having a family dinner in the cafeteria tonight.....the kids have wanted nothing more than dinner together as a family for weeks now....so this is special for them too.

As we enter the heart of this Christmas season we want to wish God's richest blessings to all of you. May you be all encompassed by the spirit of the season and stand in awe at the grace of God working in your lives. We once again we say thanks for all of the family and friends we have surrounding us with love and support over the past months.

We hope to send out a Christmas edition of the chronicles so be on the lookout for pictures from our family Christmas.

The Gavin Chronicles, December 18, 2008

2007-12-18T23:55:00.000-07:00

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28

Good Morning....

Well we are happy to report that surgery is over and it was a success. The surgeon was pleased with how things went back together and said he expects that Gavin will have no long term effects from this. It is so nice to see our little guy with no plastic bag attached to his belly.

As of this morning Gavin is still on the ventilator but they are weaning his settings trying to encourage him to breath more on his own. He is on very little oxygen support. He will remain on orders for nothing by mouth until they see some secretions come out the other end. At that point they will begin feeding him nipple feedings like he was receiving prior to surgery. His job then is to learn to nipple all of his feedings so that he can come home. Gavin gained a bit of weight last night and weighed in at 4lb 15oz. It is most likely that he will retain fluids from surgery and they will once again have to give him lasix to drain it off.

At this point, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that light is not a train....it really is the light of day. We suspect Gavin will be home in 2-3 weeks if all goes as planned. The reality of bringing him home soon has not yet hit.....and we think it really wont be a reality until we are filled with sleepless nights......but we are so excited for sleepless nights at this point.

Thank you for all of your support and prayers for Gavin and surgery yesterday. We appreciate all that each and every one of you have done for us. Please continue to pray that recovery would go well and Gavin will be home soon.

I have included a few pictures from before and a picture of Gavin post surgery yesterday. He is pretty puffy looking.....the ventilator doesn't make him look very good. We will update with more information as we have it.

The Gavin Chronicles, December 16, 2007

2007-12-16T23:41:00.000-07:00

I was there to hear your borning cry......I'll be there when you are old....

Good Morning!

Hope this email finds you well and enjoying your weekend. I am sure many of you are in the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping and all of the joy of the season. This is such a fun time of year for everyone young and old. We too are caught up in the joy of the season.

As for Gavin, we have quite an update for today....

Last week Gavin graduated to an open air "big boy" crib. We were so excited with this progress. He is growing up and getting bigger each and every day. Last week also brought the news that Gavin would be having his final surgery to reverse the illeostomy on Monday December 17. The surgery will be done at Littleton Hospital so we do not have to transfer back to PSL. It is scheduled for 8:30 in the morning. He is back on a bit of oxygen and by a bit I really do mean a scant amount. They want him to put all of his energy into growing right now before surgery so they help him out in all areas to achieve that. He is starting to nipple his feedings much better because his suck, swallow, breath coordination is finally beginning to click for him. Last night he was able to nipple almost 2 oz by bottle. We were so proud of him. He weighed in last night at 4lb 15oz. Hard to believe he is 4x his birth weight.

So, for today we are rejoicing in the news of Gavins surgery tomorrow. We are excited for this big step but scared as well. We have anticipated this day for many months and it is finally here. Recovery should take about a week give or take a few.....so they say. He will be back on a ventilator for a period of time for surgery and post op....possibly a couple of days. They will begin feeding him about 7 days post surgery unless the surgeon orders it sooner. Until then, Gavin will receive IV nutrition. Once Gavin is done with recovery he needs to work on mastering nippling all of his feedings and then he will come home. Dare I say we expect this to happen by about the first week in January or so.....

Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Pray for Gavin and the surgeons tomorrow. Pray that the Lord would guide their hands and keep a watchful eye on Gavin as well. Pray for strength and a speedy recovery. Pray for Colin and I for patience to make it through surgery and recovery. Keep Ian and Brooke in your prayers for patience to make it another 9 days.....on toy restriction.

Thank you again for all of your prayers and continued support. We never could have made it this far without all of the love and support we have received from the many family, friends and even complete strangers. God is truly good and he has provided us with wonderful people in our lives......

We will update you tomorrow once surgery is over....until then, enjoy a few new pictures.

The Gavin Chronicles, December 9, 2007

2007-12-09T23:29:00.000-07:00

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13

Happy Sunday!!

We had quite a week and I know that an update is long overdue. Hopefully this email finds you all well and if you are in Colorado.....staying warm! The cold weather has been bearing down on us the past few days and I think the only one in favor of it is the 11 month old puppy.

Gavin has had quite the week. It started on Saturday last week with him being severely hypoglycemic. He was started on an IV....which you will see on his head in the following pictures. The IV came out last night after several days of sugar infusions to maintain his sugar levels. Later in the week, Gavin began dumping all of his feeds out of his stoma. This was an indication that he was malabsorbing his food and most likely the cause of the hypoglycemia. He was taken back to 20 calorie food and put back on continuous feeds to help his body stabilize. During the course of this whole episode, Gavin gained over a pound in fluid. I now know what an almost 5 pound baby looks like....however, it was all in his face and hands....poor baby. He was given Lasix to get rid of the extra fluid retention and is now back down to a comfortable weight of 4lb 4oz. A ll blood work for pituitary and adrenal function came back normal this week. They will be calling the surgeon on Monday to schedule Gavin's final surgery. This will be the reinastemosis to put his intestines back together. This really is the final big step for Gavin before coming home.....short of learning to nipple all of his feedings. We were excited to hear this news.......

As for my dad, he is home and resting comfortably. He was discharged yesterday after spending the week in the hospital. He is now on blood thinners for an indefinate period of time and doing well learning how to give himself injections. We are thankful that the doctors were able to catch these blood clots and start some maintenance meds to control them in the future. They also put a screen in his side to prevent future clots from traveling to his lungs. He is in good spirits and looks great.

I have enclosed a few new pictures. Gavin is 100 days old today and today is actually my due date. He posed in his tuxedo for us and we wanted to share these pictures with you. We were planning on saving the tuxedo for New Years Eve however, it will not fit him much longer than another week or so........so we did it for today.

Thanks again for all of your prayers and support. Please continue to pray for us as we continue this journey. There is a light at the end of this tunnel and we can begin to see a ray of sunshine......soon Gavin will be home.

The Gavin Chronicles, December 4, 2007

2007-12-04T23:28:00.000-07:00

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28

Good Morning-

Wanted to send out a quick update this morning.......before we start our day.

Gavin continues on his IV drip to maintain his sugar levels. The levels have remained where they need to be with the IV however, he is starting to retain fluids. Some of the initial results from the blood tests came back yesterday. Preliminary looks seems as though perhaps Gavin's cortisol levels are a bit low. This would be the primary cause for hypoglycemia. Cortisol is the hormone that tells your body to produce sugar....without it sugar levels will be low. I could place a bet today that they would start Gavin on some sort of corticosteroid to help his adrenal functions.

Because he is receiving IV fluids in addition to his regular feeds they have had to modify the volume of his feedings to a lower volume. He has been taken off of the 28 calorie formula and we have gone back to 24 calorie at this point in time. He weighed in last night at 3lb 15 oz......mostly fluid retention.

On another note, my dad was taken to the hospital yesterday after collapsing in the garage for an unknown amount of time. He was admitted with several large blood clots in his lungs. They have placed him on large doses of Heparin via IV drip and will transition at some point to injectible blood thinners and coumadin. They had some difficulty last night stabilizing his blood pressures and talked of moving him to ICU. They will be running a series of tests beginning today to try to find out why his blood is clotting.

Please keep us in your prayers. Please continue to pray for Gavin that the doctors would be able to manage his issues and gain some resolve. Pray for my dad that the doctors would be able to dissolve the blood clots and find a reason for the clotting so they can manage it in the future. Pray for Colin and I for strength......during the most stressful times. Pray for my mom for strength to manage with my dad gone.

I will update later today as I know more about Gavin and my dad.....

The Gavin Chronicles, December 3, 2007

2007-12-03T23:27:00.000-07:00

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31

Good Morning to all of our Friends and Family-

Wow!! What a weekend. We have officially begun the holiday season at the Philben house. We have hung the customary lights on the house, donned the annual Christmas Tree with ornaments and decorated the house with all things Christmas. The kids have made their lists and are counting down the days....

Gavin on the other hand......I think he likes the rules for the game of baseball. Perhaps we should not have introduced him to the sport so early in his life. Seems we were in the 7th inning and now we are stuck in the 7th inning stretch. Problem is.....Take me out to the Ball Game is not sounding so sweet anymore and we feel more like Groundhog day than we do anything else. Gavin threw us yet another curve ball over the weekend.

On Friday's rounds the doctors had decided, after consultation with the GI doc, to increase Gavin's calories in his food once again. This was a result of slow, however steady, weight gain and growth. The GI doc requested that they do some baseline lab work to verify that Gavin was not malabsorbing the formula that he has been on before increasing the calories. The lab work consisted of a complete CBC as well as a clinatest on his stool. The CBC revealed that Gavin is severely hypoglycemic. When they received these results they immediately began an IV drip to administer sugars to him and stabilize his serum blood sugar levels. A normal serum blood sugar level for an infant is 40. Gavin was registering at 21. With the IV drip his levels rose to over 100 and stabilized around 80ish. They were pleased with this response and capped the IV. They continued to check his glucose levels with every feed.......at subsequent feedings it was noted hours later that once again his levels had dropped. The IV was hooked up again and remains hooked up today.

After finding the results with Gavin's sugar levels they have consulted with the Endocrinologist regarding this. The endocrinologist has ordered another battery of tests to check Gavin's pituitary function. Early on, Gavin had trouble with Adrenal insufficiency and was supported with hydrocortisone. It is suspect that perhaps his pituitary gland is not providing enough hormones to keep everything in sync. This is called hypopituitarism. So, long story short, they are testing Gavin's pituitary.....specifically growth hormones and cortisol levels. If these levels are low it will result in hypoglycemia. This situation is remedied with hormone replacement and is usually not a long term treatment but rather until the pituitary gland becomes mature on its own to maintain adequate levels of the needed hormones. The frustrating thing with these tests is the fact that the only medical facility in the United States that performs them is at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. As a result, it could be a couple of days before we receive any results.

As for feeding, his calories were increased to 28 and he is still on a 50/50 combo of formula and breastmilk. He has thus far been tolerating the increase in feeds but the GI doc will be following the labs that were ordered last week. Gavin weighed in last night at 3lb 12 oz.

The eye doctor was in last week for a repeat check post surgery. Gavin's eyes are perfect at this point and they will continue to monitor 2x a month to make sure things stay that way.

So, after watching the ball game for several innings and winning......we are now stuck in Gavin's 7th inning stretch. This is just another minor bump in the road as the neonatologist says. While they figure out the bump we will continue to try and sing Take me out to the Ball game with a smile on our face.

At this point in time, today, we could use prayers for Gavin. Prayers for the doctors and the labs working with him. Prayers for healing and strength. For Colin and I prayers for patience as they work through this issue and prayers for the Lord to sustain us in this place he has brought us to. Prayers for us as a family that we continue to support each other even when things are confusing and difficult.

On another note, Colin received his formal offer from Lockheed last week. In the process of transferring over his security clearance they also hit a bump in the road......Colin's clearance was never adjudicated because the organization he works for decided they were not going to pay for it. This is not a huge issue but rather a frustration. At this point, Lockheed has taken over his clearance and asked for final adjudication. Hopefully he will be able to start in his new position in a couple of weeks as originally planned. Please continue to keep us in your prayers for smooth sailing in the job department as well.

Thanks again for all of your love and support. We truly are appreciative of all the prayers and support we receive daily. We will continue to update you as we have new information.

The Gavin Chronicles, November 29, 2007

2007-11-29T23:25:00.000-07:00

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Good Morning to all our faithful friends.....

Hope this email finds you all doing well and in good health.

Gavin continues to move along slowly but steadily. He remains on feedings of 34cc every 3 hours and is taking some feedings by bottle, others still by the gavage tube. He still has some difficulty with his suck, swallow, breath coordination but is getting the hang of it more and more. Problem is, he wants to eat so bad that he is frantic with the bottle and then guzzles and chokes. He requires pretty good pacing when he is taking a bottle. I have been able to breastfeed him a few times now and he does very well at it. He knows how to latch on and he does great. He weighed in last night at 3lb 8oz. Only 1 more ounce til he triples his birth weight. Unbelieveable!!!

Gavin had his first bath in a real bathtub yesterday. Up to this point he has not been able to be in a tub because of the broviac. He enjoyed his bath and looked nicely fluffed when we were finished. Nothing smells better than a Johnsons baby (shameless plug I know).

The surgeon was in and took out the Broviac on Monday and also held a brief discussion with the neonatologist regarding Gavin's reinestamosis (surgery to put reverse the illeostomy). He has committed to doing this surgery at Littleton Hospital and so we will not have to make another trip to PSL as was previously thought. The neonatologist warned me that surgeons often forget and she would remind him of the conversation regarding the surgery. This surgery will not take place until Gavin reaches 2 Kilo which is approximately 4lb 6 oz or so.

We are in the Christmas Tree shopping business these days.....debating on cutting down a tree in blustery, snowy, down right cold weather or wimping it out and getting a nice tree from a lot. Given the fact that we all need to remain healthy we may opt for the wimp out method this year. Nonetheless, the Philben family tree will be chosen in the coming days and decorated over the weekend. The kids are very excited for Christmas. In a visit with Santa last week Ian expressed to Santa that his only wish for Christmas was that Santa bring his baby brother home......at this point mom had to step aside....for obvious reasons. Thank goodness for dad who stands by strong. Poor Santa was a bit confused I think....of course I would be confused too having heard Brooke rattle off the entire Sears toy catalog as her wish list prior to talking with Ian......

Colin is awaiting his formal job offer from Lockheed sometime today or tomorrow. He is meeting with his new employer this afternoon and is really looking forward to new opportunities. At this point it looks like he will start with them sometime around mid December. The commute is so much closer to home which will not only save time but also money with the rise of gas prices. We are so proud of him for all he has done with his career.

As for me.....I am falling apart.....I have a toothache, an ankle that I believe has a stress fracture and I am sure I could think of more given a bit more time.....No worries, I will manage.....just gonna have to find a good dentist (most of you know I despise dentists) and a good ortho doc to look at my ankle. I started back to exercising and feel pretty good about it except it is somewhat painful with this ankle thing.

Hope all is well with each and every one of you. Thank you for your continued prayers and support. We will update with new pictures in the coming days.

The Gavin Chronicles, November 26, 2007

2007-11-26T23:14:00.000-07:00

We give thanks to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
praying always for you...
Colossians 1:3

Good Morning!

Wow! Thanksgiving is now behind us and we move into the Christmas season. The season of joy and giving.

Gavin has made some great strides over the past few days. As of Saturday, he is no longer on oxygen except when he is eating by bottle. He looks so beautiful without stickers on his head anymore. Without oxygen his saturations are still in the high 90's. We could not be more excited for this big step.

Gavin continues to do well with his bottle feedings (nipplings). They attempt him with a bottle about 3x a day at this point. During a typical session Gavin will take around 20-25cc of his feeding by nipple and the remainder is done via the gavage tube. A full feeding for Gavin is 34cc. He weighed in last night at 3lb 7oz.

We are still waiting on the surgeon to come and take out the Broviac. The doctors will be calling him again today. I have decided in my next life I want to be a surgeon. This surgeon is world renowned and people come from all over the world to Denver to train with him. This is the surgeon we hope to have do Gavin's final surgery hopefully sometime in late December or January. That being said.....this guy sets his own schedule and it appears he doesn't work on or around a holiday.

At this point the only thing left for Gavin to master is nippling all of his feedings and maintaining his own body temperature in an open air crib. Once he has mastered these tasks then we will be ready to talk about surgery to put his intestines back together. Recovery should take about a week and then he will be able to come home. Estimated time frame for homecoming is January although I have been told that we could possibly be optimistic for December.

Please continue to pray for us. Pray for Gavin for mastering the nippling and body temperature regulation. Pray for Colin as he begins a new job in a few weeks. Pray for us as a family for strength and peace.

Thanks again for all of your love and continued support. It means more to us than you will ever know. God has truly blessed us with wonderful people in our lives.

I have included a few new pictures. In the last photo you can see Gavin has no oxygen and no more head stickers......Yea!!!!

The Gavin Chronicles, November 22, 2007

2007-11-22T23:09:00.001-07:00

"Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands. Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing. Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations."
Psalm 100

Happ Thanksgiving to all of our friends and family!

We hope this email finds you all well and enjoying time surrounded by family, friends and being thankful for the many blessings which God has bestowed upon you. We have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving day.

Our prayers of asuccessful eye surgery for Gavin have been answered. The surgeon was happy toreport to us this morning that Gavin's eye surgery was 100% successful. TheR.O.P. is 100% gone and the plus disease is 100% gone. We could not be happier with this news. Gavin is weighing in now at 3lb 5oz and is growing daily. He is almost 3x his original birth weight. Now how many babies can say that at only 3 months old. It is hard to fathom that on Friday Gavin will be 3 months old. It seems like just yesterday we were blessed with the miracle of his birth and now today we stand in awe of God's grace in our lives and the continued miracle of his life. We are still awaiting the surgeon to come and take Gavin's broviac out. It failed early in the week and began leaking so it is no longer useful to them. Hopefully the surgeon will be by tomorrow to get that handled.

We have been further blessed with answered prayers this Thanksgiving day.Colin has received a job offer from Lockheed Martin for a position in theDenver Tech Center. He is awaiting the formal offer letter this week or early next week. This is a huge weight lifted off of our shoulders for him to be able to return to a stable work environment for an employer who values theiremployees. He will resume with his tenure where it was left when he switched over to PSI in September. This also means better health insurance for ourfamily. Right now.....as odd as it is to most of you....Health Insurance is number one for us. Tenative plans are for him to begin employment with Lockheed sometime in December.

The Lord has heard our prayers and once again has answered them for us. We are so thankful for all of our friends and family who have supported us the past few months.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support. We are so blessed to have each and every one of you in our lives. May this day find you surrounded by the love of family and friends.......

The Gavin Chronicles, November 20, 2007

2007-11-20T23:06:00.000-07:00

Be still, and know that I am God
Psalm 46:10

Good Morning!

I am working on the verse above yet again this morning. Some days I struggle with this more than others. Today is no exception to the struggle part. As we enter this Thanksgiving season......a season of thanks, we have so much to be thankful for yet some days the vision of thankfulness just isn't as clear for us. So for today, in keeping with the promise of living with no regrets, I will make a list of the things that I am thankful for and in doing so I will share this with those around me. I will start here with this email......

I am thankful to each and every one of you who has helped us out on this journey. Some days have been easy, some hard but through them all, your support has been unfailing and never ending. Your prayers and words of encouragement have given us the strength to continue down this road we travel. Your meals have nourished us and made our tummys full. I am thankful for a God who takes care of us and still listens to my prayers on a daily basis. I am thankful for family. I am thankful for friends. I am thankful for my church home. I am thankful for my worldly home and all that resides in it.....yes the mess too! I am thankful for Colin's job, even when it really seems awful. I am thankful for health insurance. Last but not least, I am thankful for Gavin and this situation because through the hard times I am becoming a better person and renewing my faith each day. We have come closer as a family and also in our walk with the Lord. I would personally like to wish each and every one of you a blessed Thanksgiving.

Now for the update.....Gavin continues to do well and make progress daily.

He is now nippling (bottle feeding) several feedings per day. Each time varies as to how much he can take but most times he is able to take at least 2/3 of his feeding by bottle. His coordination of suck, swallow, breath is getting better although he still does occasionally hit a bump in the road. His current feeding is 32cc every 3 hours and his feeding time is down to 45 minutes. Previously he was fed over 2 hours. He weighed in last night at a whopping 3lb 4oz. He has also grown about 1 inch in length since birth. Grow legs Grow!!!

His eyes are doing well and we expect the doctor to come in at some point this week to do a 2 week follow up visit. As of last week the plus disease that they had seen previously had all but diminished and the retinopathy was fading away as well. All good signs.

Gavin's broviac port has failed and will be removed by the surgeons in the coming days. If you will recall the broviac was used to supply medication, interlipids etc as the alternative to several IV lines. It was a central line with multiple purposes. The line has not been used for several weeks but was being maintained daily for the purposes of Gavin's final surgery. The surgeons felt if they could keep it working until that point that it would be good. Yesterday, however, the port was leaking pretty bad when they flushed it therefore creating the need to remove it. This is an ok thing for us because the broviac can also be a source of future infection if left in too long. They will give him a local and Tylenol for pain when they take it out. The procedure is done at the bedside and takes just a few minutes.

We met with the pediatric Endocrinologist last night to review his plans for Gavin. Preemies often have lower levels of the thyroid hormone so they are treating Gavin with Synthroid. He will continue to take this medication until he is 3 years old and will be tested every three months to monitor dosage etc. This will also help with Gavin's growth. Currently, the pill is crushed and put into his bottle however, once he has mastered the suck, swallow, breath task he will get his pill crushed in apple sauce and take it by mouth.

Overall, things are going well for Gavin and for us. Our family has been so helpful with the kids and this situation. A huge thanks to them for all they have done. We continue to pray daily for Gavin and our family and ask that you would do the same. Pray for strength and growth for Gavin. Patience for us as a family as we get anxious for things to happen faster. Continued prayers for health and well being for all of us.

I have included a few new pictures of Gavin taken last week. One shows him with his big boy bottle and the others are pictures from his Bath. I hope you enjoy them.

The Gavin Chronicles, November 14, 2007

2007-11-14T22:59:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone-

Wow! In going back through the past week I realized I had not sent out an update on Gavin.

Last Wednesday Gavin had laser surgery on his eyes for R.O.P. The surgery went well and took just a bit under 2 hours. The doctor was pleased with how the surgery itself went and left us with a good prognosis for Gavin and his eyesight in the future. He did have quite puffy eyes for a few days and they were quite red and bloodshot as well. This was to be expected after the surgery. As of today his eyes are no longer red or swollen and he opens them often and looks all around. Gavin had a follow up visit today with the doctor who was very pleased with his progress. She indicated that the plus disease they were seeing prior to surgery had pretty much gone away and that the R.O.P. was retracting and going away as well. This is all a good sign and they will continue to follow him weekly to make sure things continue to progress this way.

Gavin has had quite a time with weight since the surgery last week. They had to make him NPO (nothing by mouth) on Wednesday at 1 am and he was not back up to full feeds until sometime on late Friday night. As a result, he has not made a whole lot of head way in the weight gain department. He did weigh in on surgery day at 3lb and has wavered from that weight to 3lb 1oz the past week. They will be watching him over the next few days and if no weight gain is seen they will change things up with his feedings. This will likely mean ommitting the breast milk component from his feedings for a while. Currently Gavin is on a 50/50 mix of breastmilk and formula making a total calories of 25. Prior to adding the breastmilk in they were able to fortify the formula to 26 calories and Gavin was gaining weight nicely. He will get back to a diet of breastmilk but gaining weight is really important right now. It just may take some time. I say the milk isnt going anywhere so do what needs to be done to get him to grow and gain weight. The big news for Gavin is that he had his first bottle on Sunday and did quite well. He was able to take 22cc by bottle and a full feeding for him at that time was 26cc. Currently he is able to nipple by bottle 1x per day as tolerated. Sometimes he gets pretty tired and other times he does really well. This was an exciting thing for us because it means Gavin is maturing and growing. Gavin has also been placed on meds for his thyroid because although it was not abnormal, it was on the low end of normal and the Endocrinologist felt it would help in his growth to put him on Synthroid.

Currently, Gavin remains on low oxygen support. Most days he is on 1/32 of a liter which to you and I might not even make a difference but it is enough for him to get by. He has not had many apnea episodes lately and his bradys are becoming few and far between as well. Both of these things are something that diminish with age and maturity.

The optimistic outlook for Gavin to come home at this point is January sometime. This is somewhat disappointing but at the same time we do not want to bring him home before he is completely ready. Ian told me last night at bedtime he was going to ask Santa this weekend to bring his baby brother home for Christmas. He said this was all he wanted next to a lego set and a Wii. I am not sure even Santa could make this happen. It brought tears to my eyes and has ripped me up pretty good today.....but, in the end it will all be worth it and Gavin will be home here safe and sound. In the meantime, maybe Santa could work on the Lego and the Wii while the doctors work to get Gavin big and strong.

We are getting ready for my baby shower this weekend. This was planned for quite some time prior to Gavin's arrival and had to be cancelled and rescheduled due to his early arrival. A good friend of mine from high school and her mom and my mom have worked very hard to put together a nice event so I am sure it will be fun. I am excited to see all my friends and be able to spend time in fellowship. We will be having the shower at our house so it has forced the hand to get the house back in order. Gavin's room is completed and ready for a baby. I am so proud of Colin for the beautiful job he did in Gavin's room. It looks awesome. A special thanks to our friend Becky for her generous time doing Gavin's wall mural. He has a beautiful log cabin room and I am absolutely in love with it.

Thanksgiving is next week and we sure do have a lot to be thankful for. We will be having our traditional Thanksgiving dinner with family and we will visit Gavin in the afternoon. We are so thankful for family, friends, a beautiful home, a job that pays, medical insurance (although frustrating most days), sunshine, happiness, and Gavin of course.

Last week as I listened to the Bishop deliver his sermon I was particularly drawn in by one thing. Well it might have been two things actually.....the first being that I miss hearing Pastor Ron preach (hint, hint) and the second being the message I walked away with. He spoke that day about living life to its fullest. Living each day to our maximum potential and not looking back. His message was that of "Resist the temptation today to live in the regrets of yesterday." So for me, for us, we have looked inward this week to make sure we are living life to its fullest daily. Some days it is hard.....but each day we have to remember, even in difficult times, to stop and be thankful for what we have and where we are even if it is not the optimal situation. God has blessed us and continues to provide for us daily.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Prayers for strength and growth for Gavin. Prayers for new employment for Colin and continued strength for us as a family as we enter this holiday season. Thanks again for all of your wonderful support that you have leant to us over the past few months.

The Gavin Chronicles, November 6, 2007

2007-11-06T08:55:00.000-07:00

Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Phillipians 4:6

Greetings to all of our family and friends and fellow followers of the Gavin Chronicles!!

It's been a week since I have sent out an update and thought tonight might be a good night to do that.

Gavin continues to do well with his feedings. He is now up to 26ml every three hours and tolerating it well. They have begun to mix his formula with breastmilk. They started out with 1/4 breastmilk and 3/4 formula. As of today, they have increased that to a 50/50 mix. The breastmilk portion of the mix is being fortified with the neocate formula to make the total calories of the mix 25. Gavin is gaining weight at a steady pace and now weighs in at 2lb 14oz. This is the same weight that Ian was at birth. It has been fun for Ian to see his brother because he can now relate just how tiny he was when he was born.

Gavin's lungs seem to be doing a bit better and his apnea spells seem to be farther and farther apart. He is on a minimal amount of oxygen support at this time. He does still have the occassional brady but seems to recover from them on his own with little to no intervention most times.

Gavin has been having repeat eye exams over the course of several weeks now. Initially these exams showed very immature vessels in his eyes that had not matured enough to make a diagnosis. Over the course of several weeks the condition of Gavin's eyes has changed dramatically from the initial exam. Gavin now has stage 2-3 R.O.P. with plus disease. If left untreated this can cause complete blindness. As a result, Gavin will be having surgery tomorrow morning on both eyes. They do this with laser technology and the success rate is 95%. I am optimistic that this was caught at a very early stage where early intervention will prevent long term vision loss. For the surgery they will have to intubate him so that his lungs do not have to work overtime while under sedation. They do not use a general anesthetic for this procedure but rather a twilight sedation. He will be on the ventilator for probably a day or two until he has recovered and is able to maintain on the nasal canula again. If you are curious about R.O.P. you can read about it here http://www.nei.nih.gov/health/rop/ .

We continue to do well as a family just preparing for the upcoming holiday season. The kids are getting excited to see Santa and give him their wish lists. They each have their requests all lined out and the newest request seems to be that of a Nintendo Wii for the family. Brooke of course wants her barbies and High School Musical periphenalia and Ian has his wishes set on Legos and video games. Gavin of course would love new clothes and pretty much any cute toy that you could give him. Thanksgiving will be here at our house as usual and we will visit the hospital in the evening.

Colin's job continues to be a constant source of stress. We are finding out the implications of a new employer and the ramifications of small business health insurance. Many of our usual prescriptions monthly which previously cost a minimal amount are now almost tripled in price as a result of this insurance. He is still looking for new employment and I suspect within a few months he will be successful in his search.

Ian is doing phenomenally well in school this year. He loves to go everyday and he is learning at such a fast pace these days. He has spanish this year and has had fun talking with Gavin's nurse Belinda in spanish. He really has done very well learning the language in the past few weeks. He loves math and is reading very well.

That's about it for our family right now. Things seem to be moving along at a good pace for us. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Please pray for Gavin with his eyes that the Lord would lead the surgeons hand and Gavin would have a speedy recovery. Please pray for Colin and the job situation that the Lord would show us his way in this situation and provide whatever his plan is for Colin. Pray that we would continue to have strength each and every day. Your prayers and thoughts mean so much to us. We are truly thankful each day for all of our dedicated friends and family that have surrounded us with love during this time in our lives. God is good and his mercy endures forever.

I will update tomorrow after Gavin's surgery.......

Until then....

The Gavin Chronicles, October 31, 2007

2007-10-31T22:21:00.000-06:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Hope this email finds everyone having been on the receiving end of many treats today and no tricks.

Gavin had a great day today!!! After having another apnea episode yesterday (the kind where he decides not to breath for a period of time) Gavin was behaving nicely today. He was all dressed up in his "Lil Pumpkin" outfit and was the talk of the nursery. He even got to come out and show off for the other nurses in the unit. He had a day free of apnea episodes and very few bradys. No major changes for him today. Tomorrow we will try him with the bottle and see how he does.

Today was the first that the kids have been able to hold Gavin. It was an exciting day for all of us. Ian was scared out of his mind and said that he was soft and squishy and squirmy. Brooke was just beside herself in all of her little mommy ways. She just loves to play mommy to Gavin....always rubbing his hand, singing to him, and of course....making sure he looks good. Today her issue was that his hat was not on him perfect so she had to fix it for him. He just looks at her in awe.....I keep trying to tell him that he is in for one heck of a time when he comes home. He smiles.....seems as though he cannot wait.

The kids went trick or treating tonight and had a great time. Both of them have buckets full of candy and could not wait to get home and bust into it.

I have included a few pictures from today. I will update tomorrow on Gavin's progress....

The Gavin Chronicles, October 30, 2007

2007-10-30T22:04:00.000-06:00

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6

Good Morning!

We hope this email finds you all well. On this day before Halloween we will be spending time preparing for tomorrow. We will do the customary pumpkin carvings tonight and I must not forget to get candy to hand out. It seems that the Lord is so good to us in answering prayer however, the prayers for 5 feet of snow for Colin to walk in tomorrow night have gone unanswered. I guess that was the breaking point in prayer of how much is too much to ask for. The weather looks as though it might rain a bit but it will certainly not be a cold and blustery evening like last year. So my new prayer is that next year when I am walking with the kids that the Lord would bless me abundantly with 70 degrees and sunshine.

Gavin continues to do very well. He is now on 21ml of formula for his feedings. They have increased his calories in the formula to 26 cal in hopes of putting more meat on his bones. Gavin had a huge milestone over the weekend. On Saturday he officially doubled his birth weight.....now how many kids can say that at 2 months old. They plan to begin bottle feeding him on Thursday. As of today Gavin weighs 2lb 9oz and is growing by leaps and bounds.

They are in communications with the surgeon as to whether or not to remove Gavin's broviac port. The verdict should be in today on that one. We have no preference on this issue and we can see both sides of the debate. If the broviac stays in it will be convenient for them at the time of his next surgery in terms of administering medication however, leaving it in also raises the potential for infection because it is an open site on his body. The surgeons will make the final judgement.

Gavin continues to be on minimal oxygen support. He is still on the low flow nasal canula and is doing well. He has had a total of 4 spells where he quits breathing like he did the other day. He has not had one since Friday night. He remains on the Xopanex and it seems to really help his lungs. His brady's are becoming less frequent and his apneas seem to be less severe. This could be a result of the meds or also could be that he is just simply growing out of them.

Gavin is on Vitamin D to help improve his calcium and phosphorous levels. They rechecked his thyroid yesterday and it remains a bit low so they will be following that over the next couple of weeks. Gavin's eye exams continue to remain the same and they do follow up every Friday.

All is well for us in this neck of the woods. The kids are excited about Trick or Treating tomorrow and I am sure we will have lots of pictures to share. Continue to pray for us daily as the Lord has been so good to us. We will update with Halloween pictures of the kids tomorrow.

The Gavin Chronicles, October 25, 2007

2007-10-25T22:01:00.000-06:00

Be still and know that I am God
Psalm 46:10

It took a few months but I have finally immersed myself in a book that was recommended to me when I was on bedrest. The book is entitled "90 Minutes in Heaven" I have hesitated to read it up until this point because of my fears surrounding Gavin and his condition and the fact that the book speaks so realistically about death. Last weekend I decided it would be safe to get a start and also a good time for me to have a few moments to myself each day. Each day I take my book with me and I read before I hold Gavin. I am able to get in a few chapters daily and also take in the glory of my son and his well being. Yesterday I sat down as usual and began to read, picking up where I had left off the day before. I finished a short amount of the chapter I had left and began another. Each chapter begins with a Bible verse fitting for the chapter. I was particularily struck by the verse with this chapter. "Be still and know that I am God" What a short and to the point, yet powerful verse. Gavin was resting comfortably while I read so I continued on my reading journey. After a period of time his nurse and I decided we would get Gavin out to play.

Gavin and I had situated ourselves in the recliner as we always do. Many days we have spent napping together and it is just a great time of peace and solitude for the both of us. He cuddles up and sleeps and I get a stiff neck and sleep. It works out well for both of us.....well except for the stiff neck part. Yesterday we were resting comfortably so much so that Gavin's pulse ox was high as it normally is when he is being held. His nurse walked to the bedspace just next door to monitor a bath. Gavin and I were comfortable. We were at peace. It is in these quiet moments that I am able to "be still and know that he is God" I am quite successful in being still when I am at peace. After a good period of time of comfort for Gavin his oxygen sats began to drop. Nothing uncommon for a preemie with an underdeveloped neurological system. These apneas are quite common. It was in that moment of stillness that Gavin decided he would take a rest from breathing. He stopped breathing and his alarms went off. In a moments notice the stillness was gone and the bedside was filled with medical personal hovering over our son encouraging him to breath. They had to use the oxygen bag on him and breath for him for several moments. They massaged his head, thumped his feet and tried to stimulate him any way they knew how. I stood there watching in sheer horror. In this moment the verse came to me....."Be still and know that I am God." How can one be still when you are in a situation like this. I ran the verse through my head and then I heard him cry. Once again I was reminded that the Lord is in control here and I need to indeed be still.

As for Gavin, he has had a wonderful day today. Quite a difference from yesterday. His oxygen sats have maintained nicely in the 90's today with very few bradys and apnea spells. As a precaution they have started Gavin on a few antibiotics to ward of a possible infection if one should crop up. They have been monitoring his blood daily and thus far all seems to be well. Often times apnea spells can be related to infection so they do not want to take any chances.

He continues to eat 20ml over 1.5 hours. We are getting closer to the bolice feeding of 30 minutes. In the next couple of days they will try Gavin on nipple feeding. They will not do his entire feed this way but will allow him the chance to try it and see what he does. Most likely he will take maybe 5ml by nipple and the rest will still be via the gavage tube. He is gaining weight and finally broke the 1 kilo mark today. The staff brought in brownies and cake to celebrate Gavin's 1 kilo day. Vicky, Gavin's NNP, measured out a rubber maid tub of M&M's to Gavin's weight for the kids. This was exciting for them because they could grasp just how much Gavin weighs and the bonus is that they get to eat the candy too. Gavin weighed in tonight at 2lb 4oz.

They are giving Gavin Xopanex to help with his lungs and RAD. Both of the other kiddos have had RAD and we are very familiar with Xopanex, Albuteral, Atrovent, and pulmacort. His lungs appear to be moving air much better since the addition of this to his regimen. This is common for preemies born as early as Gavin.

We are going to be starting Gavin's room this weekend. We ordered the wood for the wall to make our log cabin look. We will be painting the other walls in tan and blue with a mountain scene.....all this possible with the help of a close friend who absolutely does the best painting ever. Gavin's room will be adorable when it is complete.....be on the lookout for pictures of the finished product.

We are doing well as a family. Colin continues to shine through and be my rock when I am weak. He was there yesterday to be my support after Gavin's scary episode. He continues to amaze me daily with his strength. I am amazed by God's grace in action in our marriage and our family. He has drawn us to each other and allowed us to see the beauty of each other in good times and in bad. The kids are doing well. We are preparing for Halloween this next week. Brooke is excited to be Gabriella and wear her dress and Ian is psyched up about being Obi Wan. He has his beard and she has her hair color so both are pretty excited about the extras that go with their costumes. The kids have a carnival at Ian's school tomorrow night which I am sure will be a blast for them. We will be carving the ceremonial pumpkins on Monday or Tuesday I am sure.

I hope this update finds each and every one of you well. Please continue to keep us in your daily prayers. In times when you are troubled pause for a moment and remember to "be still and know that he is God" Cast your burdens on him and he will carry you through.

I will update tomorrow with some new pictures......until then....

The Gavin Chronicles, October 19, 2007

2007-10-19T21:54:00.000-06:00

Rejoice in the Lord always,
I will say it again, Rejoice!
Phillipians 4:4

Good Morning!

I hope this is a happy Friday for everyone and that you are ready and eager to embrace what the weekend holds. For us here in Colorado, I am afraid that means the dreaded SNOW.....

Gavin is such an amazing baby! He continues to amaze the doctors, nurses and even us on a daily basis. This week has been a week of progress for Gavin. He is now on full feedings with 24 calorie neocate formula. He is no longer receiving IV nutrition and is maintaining well in the food department. A big milestone for Gavin this week is he now weighs 2lbs. They will begin to switch him over to bolice feedings in the coming days.

Gavin graduated once again in the oxygen department. He is no longer on the high flow nasal canula but rather on a low flow, regular oxygen nasal canula. He is amazing the doctors because he is on such minimal support in the oxygen department. He continues to have oxygen saturations in the high 90's even with minimal support.

This week Gavin's caffeine treatments were discontinued, his humidity in his little isolette was discontinued and his hydryocortisone was once again decreased. He will have a follow up eye exam this afternoon which I am sure he will pass with flying colors.

Life is good for Gavin and life is good for us.

We took the kids to the museum yesterday to see Titanic and they loved it. We had a great time together as a family. When we were done at the museum we took a ride out to Colorado Mills to check out the lego store with Ian. He gave us all sorts of ideas for Christmas. Brooke checked out the Claire's store while we were there and spent a few moments trying to convince daddy she might need a new purse. We have family in town for the weekend and we were able to spend some time with them last night which was really nice.

We hope the weekend finds you and your families well and rested. Please continue to keep us in your daily prayers as we continue on our journey.

The Gavin Chronicles, October 16, 2007

2007-10-16T21:47:00.000-06:00

May the God of hope
fill you with all joy and peace in believing
so that you may abound in hope by the power of the holy spirit.
Romans 15:13

Good Morning Everyone-

How bout those Colorado Rockies!!! Gavin was thrilled with their sweep of the series and may actually have to debut his "Game Day" outfit again during the World Series. Gavin continues to move along a steady but somewhat slow course....although I am sure he is quite pleased with the speed at which he is moving. The doctors are more than pleased with his steady progress at this point. His feedings have now been increased to 5cc an hour or 15cc every 3 hours. He is now on 24 calorie formula....to build up those biceps(that's what the doctor says at least). Possibly tomorrow they will increase his feedings again and then once again discontinue the hyperal (IV nutrition). A full feeding for Gavin at this time is 18cc every 3 hours. After they get to full feedings with tolerance on 24 calorie formula they will move to get him off of continuous feedings and more onto a bolice feeding schedule. His stomach needs to become adjusted to taking on food and expanding and then contracting with digestion. With continuous feedings, although it helps with tolerance, it does not provide for the expansion and contraction issues. Gavin is edging his way to 2lbs. He knows that mommy is excited for that milestone so he is going to take his sweet time getting there and then I am sure he will savor every moment of it. He weighed in last night at 1lb 15oz.

Gavin continues to do very well in the breathing department. He is still on the high flow nasal canula and his settings are at 1 liter with almost room air. In the coming days they will be switching him over to the regular nasal canula because he has graduated from needing high flow.

The PT/OT was in to evaluate Gavin yesterday. She was amazed at this tiny child and the things he could do. Gavin opens his eyes wide and trys to interact with his caregivers when they speak to him. He is a very responsive child. He has a great hand grasp.....as noted with the baseball bat. His movements are consistent and not jerky or twitchy....all things they look for to measure an immature neurological system. She will continue to follow his progress as he gets bigger. For now she is thrilled with his size and his abilities.

Gavin will have a follow up eye exam on Friday of this week. They will continue to follow him weekly to make sure he does not present with any signs or symptoms of R.O.P. Thus far all things are good in this department. We are sure he can see because he opens his eyes wide open in response to both Colin and I. He knows our voices and will look for you when you talk to him.

As for us as a family, we are doing well. Colin is in the midst of concert season once again and is often gone at night. He is still actively pursuing new employment. Ian is on fall break this week and we plan to take him to the museum to see the Titanic Exhibit. He has talked about it for months and now is a good opportunity for us to go before Gavin comes home. Brooke is just Brooke. She continues to be the adorable however sassy 4 year old and never ceases to amaze me with things she does daily. They are going to a friends house this afternoon and both of them are very excited for a playdate. As for me, I will have my follow up appointment with the doctor next week. I am feeling well these days and think I am getting back on track with my own health.

We have started to think ahead a bit to the future and when Gavin comes home. We have discussed the holidays and how they will look for our family. We need to get Gavin's room in order because it is still pink and purple....not that he would mind currently, but eventually I think he would have an identity crisis. We spoke to the hospital about a live Christmas tree vs an artificial one. So as you can see we are in the planning stages for the coming months. We have also begun our Christmas shopping because the hospital did stress to us to complete this task by mid November so we do not have to take Gavin out in the cold and expose him to hundreds of illnesses.

Once again we are rejoicing in the wonderful progress Gavin has made in the past week. We are rejoicing in our own health and well being and we are thankful each and every day for wonderful family and friends who surround us with love and support. Please continue to keep us in your daily prayers. Prayers for strength and growth for Gavin, prayers for new employment for Colin and prayers for sanity and daily living for the kids and I.

The Gavin Chronicles, October 15, 2007

2007-10-15T21:39:00.000-06:00

Go Rockies!!!

Good Morning!!

This is a special edition of the Gavin Chronicles. I will send out the update in just a bit.

Gavin posed for his first "official" photo session yesterday. Present at the photo shoot were NNP Jill, Nurse Trisha, Nurse Sheryl, Nurse Pam, Mommy and Daddy.

He was eager to try on his "game day" suit. Unfortunately, it was still a bit big.....but he told us, "no worries, I will grow into it!"

We suited him up and this is what we got. He loved to hold the bat for us.....had a strong grip on it!

The outfit came from Build a Bear and the baseball glove is a youth baseball glove (the same glove we used to pose Ian in for his birth announcement 8 years ago). The accessories of the small glove, ball and bat are also from Build a Bear.

We believe he is definitely the smallest Rockies fan ever weighing in last night at 1lb 14 oz. The Rockies should be proud to have this adorable 6 week old baby as one of their biggest.....and smallest fans!!!

The Gavin Chronicles, October 11, 2007

2007-10-11T21:33:00.000-06:00

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer
Romans 12:12

Good Morning!!!

We start today rejoicing in the wonderful progress that Gavin has made over the past few days. Gavin is such a little cutie but nothing compares to being able to see your child, face to face, with no tubes or wires attached to his mouth. To be able to take in the glory of his beauty and have him look back at you with his tongue sticking out is simply the best. Gavin had his ventilator tube taken out at about 6 last night and has never looked back. Once the tube came out he quickly realized there was nothing in his mouth and he was exercising his tongue to its fullest extent. He is on a high flow oxygen via nasal canula now. His settings are at 2 liters and 25%. Remember that room air is 21%. His settings really are quite low and hopefully will remain that way.

The eye doctor was in and checked Gavin's eyes. At this point, they see no signs of ROP but will continue to check him every 1-2 weeks for some time. I failed to ask for how long would have to continue to be followed but the doctor did indicate he would be seeing us quite a bit in his office once Gavin was discharged.

Feedings continue to go well and will be increased again tomorrow. They had to take out his feeding tube when they took out the ventilator tube. He was looking for his food when it was gone so that is a good sign. He loves to suck and was sucking on the nurses finger when she was trying to feel his soft palate. I think I see a binky in his future.

It's a great day for us and for Gavin. God has truly blessed us with a strong little fighter. We are so thankful for the many people who continue to pray for us daily. We now know that all things are possible with prayer and positive thoughts.

I have included a few new pictures for you. These were taken after Gavin's tube was taken out. Isn't he cute???

The Gavin Chronicles, October 10, 2007

2007-10-10T21:33:00.000-06:00

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9
Good Afternoon to all of our faithful friends and family!!!

Today is a day of NEW beginnings!! Gavin is 40 days old as of today. Hard to believe it has been almost 6 weeks since he came into our lives. For six weeks we have stood in awe of God's miraculous grace in our lives. Now today we will once again stand in awe. Gavin will be taken off of the ventilator this afternoon....the very life support that sustained his small body in the beginning has now helped him to mature and be strong enough to breath on his own. He will be put on a high flow nasal canula with oxygen only. He will be breathing on his own. This is truly a miracle of miracles. Six weeks ago we were not sure we would make it through 48 hours and now he is able to breath on his own.

Gavin will also have a visit from the eye doctor today. This is the same group of pediatric opthamologists that Ian sees as well. They will be looking to make sure Gavin does not have R.O.P. This is a condition that effects preemies born earlier than 32 weeks. You can read about R.O.P. by clicking this link http://www.nei.nih.gov/health/rop/.

They have once again increased Gavin's feedings. He is now up to 12cc every 3 hours and continues to tolerate it well. He is still receiving 3.5 cc of IV nutriion every 3 hours as well. This balances out to a total feeding volume of 15.5cc every 3 hours. Gavin has had steady weight gain and he continues to poop very well.

They have added iron to Gavin's regimen and also continue with caffeine treatment. Caffeine helps kiddos like Gavin to minimize apnea and bradycardia spells. He will also be receiving a medication called EPO. This will help Gavin's body to produce red blood cells on its own.

Lots of changes today in Gavin's world. All in the right direction though. I ask that you continue to pray for us this afternoon. Please pray that the extubation goes well and Gavin sails through with breathing on his own. Pray for continued strength and growth for Gavin. Strength and endurance for us as a family as well.

I will update you later tonight after we have been to the hospital. I am excited and scared all at the same time this afternoon. God has brought us to this place and he will see us through it to the next level. Once again, I take a leap of faith. I know there is nothing that will happen today that together the Lord and I cannot handle!!!

The Gavin Chronicles, October 9, 2007

2007-10-09T21:31:00.000-06:00

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances....I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:11b-13

Happy Tuesday to all!

Today we rejoice together for weight gain. Gavin has had a steady course now over 3 days of upward mobility in the weight gain department. This is good signs of feeding tolerance and his ability to grow and get bigger. Last night he weighed in at 1lb 12oz so I am once again hopeful for 2lbs by the end of this week. The NNP who was with Gavin yesterday left us wit her hopes for the week.....1. Cheeks, 2. 2lbs, 3. No more vent tube and 4. No more peeling skin. When she referred to cheeks I asked her if she was thinking of butt cheeks or face cheeks.....she laughed and said we would worry about his butt cheeks later. He is now up to 3.5cc an hour for his feedings and continues to do well. They will most likely increase to 4cc an hour tomorrow and see how he does. If he continues to do well and tolerate the feeds they will switch him back to breastmilk and then hopefully be able to add fortifier with extra calories.

We are so delighted with the progress Gavin is making. Six weeks ago we were not even sure he could sustain life outside the womb and today we stand in awe of his strength. Such a small child yet such a fighter. Surely all of us stand to learn something from Gavin. Looking through Gavin's eyes I realize that life is about perseverance and that faith is believing in things you cannot see. I have learned that much of what happens to us is totally out of our control despite our best efforts to control it all the way. Let go and Let God really is more than a phrase that people say to you.....it is true. I have learned so much from Gavin about the power of prayer. I am still working on learning a bit of patience from Gavin....maybe he will have some nice way of teaching me this one.....I do however, have more today than I did 6 weeks ago.

So for today we are thankful for Gavin and all that he teaches us in his strength and peseverance. We are thankful for family and friends, for good food and clothes to wear each day. We are thankful for our jobs and income.

Please continue to pray for strength and healing for Gavin. Pray that God would continue to bless him in his weight gain journey and he will continue to grow and get bigger. Pray for us as a family that we can surround each other with love and compassion, patience and perseverance to continue despite trials and tribulations that might come our way.

I will update more later and possibly post a few new pictures if Gavin is in the mood to pose today .

The Gavin Chronicles, October 7, 2007

2007-10-07T21:23:00.000-06:00

"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
Matthew 19:14

Good Evening Everyone-

Today was a great day for Gavin! His nurses decided today would be spa day for Gavin. They gave him a bath and exfoliating treatment. His skin was so dry and peeling, so he really did need it. They said he sticks his arms out and relaxes while they lube him up with lotion. I am just afraid that he will become accustomed to this spa stuff and then will want to go to the spa after he comes home. I am sure his sister would be delighted to accompany him if that were the case. I can just see it now, Brooke gets her nails done while Gavin exfoliates......oh the life of the Philben children.

Gavin's great grandma came to visit today. She spent a few hours admiring him and entertaining the staff as well. She is very proud of her grand children and was delighted to be able to see Gavin. I think she is planning on her next visit cause I am sure she enjoyed herself.

After his bath and visitors Gavin was pretty wore out. He spent the afternoon sleeping and relaxing although I did catch a glimpse of his eyes before I left. He kept his oxygen saturations up pretty well today and had no bradychardias while we were there.

I will be curious if he gained weight tonight....I will find out in a bit when they weigh him. Weigh in is always at night. Sometimes they do it at 8pm and other times they wait until midnight. Just like when Ian was a preemie, we look forward to weigh in time. It is like the big excitement for the day. This is not to be confused with Mommy's weigh in which is somewhat depressing.

I have included a few new pictures for you. The picture of the ghost and the pumpkin shows you Gavin's new friends. The kids picked these out for him and are very proud to show them off. Gavin's apartment is decorated for Halloween and the kids just love it.
I will update more tomorrow......

The Gavin Chronicles, October 3, 2007

2007-10-03T21:16:00.000-06:00

"For I know the plans I have for you" Declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Good Afternoon Everyone-

As I walked through the door yesterday I just had a sense it was going to be a homecoming of sorts. It all felt so good to me.....good to us. I picked up the phone and the door unlocked. I was greeted with smiling faces and a rather large hug from Gavin's NNP. She said the most beautiful, yet simple words to us in her embrace...."Welcome Home!" Those words mean so much to us in their simplicity.

I am pleased to share with you that Gavin has made his big trip back to Littleton Hospital and is resting comfortably in his new apartment there. He rode in style for his trip. He had on his little robe that they gave him at PSL and a new hat. He was pretty darn cute when I saw him if I might say so myself. He handled the transfer with ease and very little if any problems. He arrived in style in his big green ambulance at around 330 yesterday afternoon.

We spent the morning working with the doctors to understand the plans for Gavin in the coming days. The goal of his care at this point is to help him to gain weight. They have switched him from breast milk to a more gentle, partially digested formula. Eventually this will be changed to a formula with added calories to help him grow. In several weeks once he has started growing he will then be put back on breast milk with added fortifier. Gavin's tummy could not handle the breastmilk fortifier at this stage of the game. He remains on the ventilator and there is some uncertainty as to when he will come off of that. At this point they are working to determine if Gavin is working too hard on the ventilator, thereby causing him to burn calories or if the ventilator helps him just enough to help him gain weight. In the coming days they will be evaluating this and making a more educated decision with regards to this. We worked with the wound care team and the illeostomy team today as well. They are trying several different approaches to getting the illeostomy bag to stick without interrupting the actual wound site itself. Currently, Gavin is a poopin machine.....as a result of much prayer.....and now there is a need for the bag to be in place. They have one attached to him today and will monitor throughout the day and night to make sure it stays affixed and is not leaking into the incision itself......so far so good. Gavin still weighs in at 740 grams or 1lb 10oz.

The doctors and nurses were thrilled to see him and they are so excited to be working with us again. I am confident they will provide only the most supreme care possible. Gavin loves to look around at his new place and is quite precocious with his hands these days. He likes to pull on his ET tube and he likes to put them down in his diaper. Both places are probably not recommended for Gavin at this moment in time....but boys will be boys. The kids will be excited to know that we can decorate Gavin's apartment for Halloween.....so I am sure they will have some fun in the coming days.

As for Colin and I, a huge weight has been lifted off of our shoulders. Over the coming weeks we hope to be able to spend more time together as a family and not be so divided as the weeks past have been. We are excited to be home and be able to eat as a family tonight and to eat at 5pm rather than 8pm. The kids will be able to see Gavin now daily if they want to and we are much closer to home which makes the burden less all in and of itself.

The Lord has been so good to us. I know I have said it before and I am sure I will say it many many times again. The power of his love and grace in our lives right now is so great that we could run to the ends of the earth and not escape it. We have been surrounded with such wonderful people and touched by so many we don't even know. Our table has been filled with food and our hearts filled with love.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers. We pray for Gavin to gain strength and start to grow into a chunky baby. We pray for strength for our family as we look to the months ahead of us.

Thanks again for all of your love and support......Peace to all!

The Gavin Chronicles, October 1, 2007

2007-10-01T21:07:00.000-06:00

This is the day the Lord has made....Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Happy Monday to all!

I realized over the weekend that I had neglected to update and I was receiving emails of concern over my absence.

I first would like to start by saying "Praise the Lord for Poop" You prayed and he provided. The Lord is good with Gavin's prayer warriors. Now, that being said, we have a lot of poop and the nurses are having a hard time keeping the bag affixed so it doesn't go all over. Seems like Gavin knows now is a good time to make a huge mess cause mommy isn't the one cleaning it up. Now, I am certain he will never do this once he comes home . He is now up to full feedings and is tolerating it well. Every 3 hours Gavin gets 13cc of breast milk. Seems like a huge amount I know but to keep it in perspective for you.....5cc is a teaspoon. They have taken him off of all of his IV's now and it seems so surreal to not see the IV stand next to his bed anymore. Gavin no longer needs IV nutrition as all of his nutrition now comes from his feeds. He remains on a prophylactic dose of penicillin for his kidney reflux. He has also been receiving random doses of Decadron to help with his sodium levels and also to aid with his continuous peeing. He seems to be holding his own with his glucose levels now that his IV fluids have been discontinued. Gavin weighs in at 1lb 10oz now.

We had a pretty full weekend here but the weather was beautiful. Brooke had a soccer game on Saturday and she ran like crazy. Ian was able to spend the night with his good friend Dylan and he was thrilled. Colin was able to clean the garage and our cars actually fit in it now.....and it hasn't even snowed yet. I walked with the scouts yesterday working on popcorn sales here in the neighborhood.

The Lord continues to provide for us daily. The church here in Castle Rock so graciously provided us with meals for 2 full weeks. Ian's school will now begin to provide some meals for us for the coming weeks. I could not be more thankful for these people. Every day when we get home we have no worries about food because someone has brought us dinner. This is a huge thing as some nights we are not home and eating dinner til close to 8pm or later.

I was able to attend church yesterday and emotionally I kept it together. I was quite pleased with myself for not crying with anyone......and we saw and spoke to many, who tried to get me to cry. Bethany has been so supportive of our family during this difficult time. I am so thankful to have such a wonderful church home filled with loving and caring people.

The big news for the weekend that I need to share with you is that in the coming days Gavin will have another ambulance ride. He will be transported back to Littleton Hospital where he will be for quite some time. Months I would presume. His job at Littleton is to feed and to grow. We are so excited to have him move back to Littleton and the kids cannot wait to see their brother again. I think Gavin is a little excited too cause mom told him ambulances are cool and when he gets older he can chase them with her. He knows all about mommy and her ambulance chasing thrills......he also knows daddy just rolls his eyes at mommy when she tells him to drive faster so we can see the accident.....

Colin is settling in at work with his new employer. They are in transition and the new company is learning what Tricare and Ecommerce is all about. He will continue his job search with hopes of finding something in the near future. Until then, we are just thankful that he is employed and has insurance benefits that we are able to utilize.

For today we are rejoicing in Gavin's progress.......we are thanking the Lord for providing for us both emotionally, nutritionally and also physically. We rejoice in the friends that we have and we stand in awe of God's grace working in our lives.

Thanks again to each and everyone of you for your love and support. Words cannot express what it means to us on a daily basis. I have kept all of the email correspondence and I will put it with Gavin's baby book. Some day he will have the ability to read them himself and realize all the wonderful people who surrounded him with love when he was born. At some point I would like to know how many of the 50 states we have reached with Gavin's story. I think it would be fun to share with him when he gets older. So, if you are reading this email let us know where you are from......I will compile the list and then I will publish it for you to see.....then everyone can see the power of God's dynamic love in Gavin's and our lives right now.

I will continue to update as I know more. I have included a few new pictures for you to see.....

The Gavin Chronicles, September 26, 2007

2007-09-26T10:51:00.000-06:00

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Romans 5:1-5
Good Afternoon Everyone-

I just want you to know that Gavin and I had the best afternoon today. We sat and rocked and we talked.......well I talked, he looked at me sometimes, but mostly he slept....but I am certain on some level he heard what I had to say. He held my hand tightly as we rocked and talked. He is off of all of his antibiotics as of today. His feedings are up to 4cc every 3 hours and will increase to 5cc at 11 pm tonight. He seems to be tolerating the feedings well thus far. His ventilator settings are very minimal and the doctor shared with me today that Gavin is ready to be extubated. He is ready to be off of the ventilator and put on a C-Pap. She however, is holding off on this because she wants to have him on stable respiratory support to move him back to Littleton. Currently, Gavin is rock solid stable on the ventilator. Once he is transported back Littleton staff will extubate him and migrate him to a C-Pap. He is still holding steady at 1lb 8oz and the doctor said we should begin to see some weight gain here soon. The wound team is working with Gavin to help him out with his incision. They claim that by Friday it will look remarkably better.

I want to share with you that our God is an Awesome God, not that you don't already know that. The power of prayer that I have seen working for Gavin is just simply amazing to me. God's grace is so all encompassing that some days it simply leaves me speachless. Gavin continues to gain strength and is healing more and more each day.

As of today his doctor has targeted the end of next week as a hopeful, optimistic time to have Gavin transported back. At this point in time they are waiting to see him have bowel movements out of the stoma. So today, Gavin and I had a chat about poop. I was trying to encourage him to not follow in the footsteps of his siblings but rather he could be his own person in this issue. I tried to explain to him that in the poop department Ian and Brooke just simply were not great examples to follow. He winked at me so I think he got it.....I guess time will tell.

With this in mind, getting back to the issue of prayer....I think our request for Gavin would now be prayers for healing, strength and POOP! I know it seems odd to ask God to give us poop......but I am certain he has heard much worse....right?? Please continue to keep Colin and myself and our other two kiddos in your prayers as well. Pray for us to have strength to maintain daily life while providing for Gavin as well.

Thanks again for all of your love and support. Not sure some days where we would be without it.

I have included a few new pictures from the past few days for you. In the one picture you can see Gavin now has had a good look at the ring he was holding at birth. He really clenched it this time. One of the other pictures Gavin is showing just how cute he is with his tongue sticking out and then the last picture Colin and I were playing with Dangles and Dangles wanted to play with Gavin and this picture was the result.

More updates as they come.....

The Gavin Chronicles, September 25, 2007

2007-09-25T10:34:00.000-06:00

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
Good Morning!

Yesterday was a great day for Gavin! Gavin will be discontinuing his antibiotics today. He has been on them for 2 weeks. He is fully weaned from the Fentanyl however, he can still have a bolice if he needs it. Gavin's feeds were increased yesterday to 1cc every 3 hours and today they will begin to increase the amount of his feedings by 1cc every 12 hours. This means in 6 days Gavin will be up to a full feeding of 12cc. Remember 5cc is a teaspoon. This is when he should begin to put on some weight. They will be watching closely to make sure his intestines are working properly post surgery. Gavin got to come out and play last night. I was not planning on being able to hold him but it was the best surprise ever. He was out for a little more than an hour and happy as a clam the whole time. At times while he was out of his isolette, his O2 sats were at 100%. He is going to be my cuddler because he loves to be held and always has.

Colin and I are still holding up pretty well against all the odds right now. Colin had a really good interview on Friday and hopes to hear something more this week regarding that. He knows his time in his current job will be very limited and I think that is what keeps him going right now. Today is the first day working for the new company so I hope all goes well for him. As for me, I still have quite a bit of pain on the left side....which is the side where they did all the tugging and pulling on. I am starting to feel more human though which is nice. I will be working to complete the paperwork for Social Security today for Gavin. Because of Gavin's small size at birth he is qualified and will receive Social Security Supplemental Income as well as Medicaid. This means despite the ugly insurance that Colin has been offered with his new employer, Gavin's medical bills will be covered by Medicaid if the insurance does not pay them. This is a huge relief and one less thing for us to worry about right now.

Ian and Brooke are doing well. I think they are happy to be able to be home for a good amount of time now. They sure do love their Grandma and Papa but I think they got a bit homesick as well. Ian is doing very well in his new school and seems to really like it. Brooke loves her dance and she is really good at soccer as well. Both of them miss being able to see their brother but will be able to see him soon once he gets moved back to Littleton.

In speaking with the doctor last night I asked if we were on track to achieve moving Gavin by Halloween......our previous target date. She was optimistic that if all continued to go well we would have him back there in possibly 2 weeks.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Pray for healing and strength for Gavin. Pray for Colin with his job situation. Pray for strength for Colin and I.

Thanks again for all of your love and support. I will update later as I know more today....

The Gavin Chronicles, September 22, 2007

2007-09-22T10:26:00.000-06:00

Good Afernoon- I hope this email finds everyone enjoying their weekend. The weather is beautiful here in Colorado and just a great day to be outside. Gavin had a bit of a hiccup yesterday but I think we are back on the>straight and narrow. Preemies born as small and early as Gavin often times suffer from renal insufficiencies. It had been noted that Gavin WAS a good pee'er and as of yesterday was not peeing so well. I was really encouraged by the 2 ounce weight gain he had the night prior however the doctor was not so entertained. This was a sign that Gavin was retaining fluid. They have started Gavin on some diuretics and also on some steroids to help jump start his kidneys. As of this morning I am pleased to report that Gavin peed all over his bed, his blankets, himself and his wound dressing......funny to me!!! Gavin's nurse didn't find him so funny peeing all over at shift change. He did gain weight again last night but I won't tell you a weight right now because it would be far from accurate with his fluid retention issues. They had stopped his feedings last night and they were started again today. He is now weaned from the Fentanyl drip and seems to be tolerating it well. The wound care team will he assessing him on Monday to see how they can help out with his incision. The incision looks good but it is dry so they want to have the wound care team peek at him to see if they can help that along. As for us, we enjoyed the morning watching Brooke play soccer and have spent some time at home during the day today. I washed up all of the preemie boy clothes so that Gavin has clothes to wear.....next thing to wash is all the blankets so I can take some to the hospital for him. Colin is working to clean up the garage so the cars will fit in it before it begins to snow.....which I am afraid will be sooner than later. At this point in time, the target date to get Gavin back towards Littleton Hospital is Halloween. I think this is a long way off and may happen sooner. Gavin is in charge of the navigation of this ship currently. We are all 1st mates while he plays captain. He will let them us what course he is going to take and how long it will take and the rest of us will sit back and watch him. Colin and I attended a charity golf event yesterday for Help Heal the Children. They are a non profit organization who help families like ourselves with preemies. They have been so generous to our family and the generosity flowed yesterday again. Supper Solutions has donated 14 complete meals with delivery and set up for our family. A local gas station has donated the month of October's gas to us for free. We have also received several Safeway gift cards that we can use for the purposes of gas as well. I was so touched by a gentleman at the golf tournament who came up to us after the reception.....opened his wallet and gave us $150.00. This man does not know us. He just heard our story. He was so touched by Gavin's story that he said he had to do something for us. You can learn more about their organization by going to http://www.helphealthechildren.com(http//www.helphealthechildren.com) . The people of God are amazing. I am continually amazed by the love and support we receive daily from coast to coast. Your prayers and support are so appreciated that words cannot express how thankful we are. Please continue to keep us in your prayers as the road ahead of us continues to be long. Christmas will be here before you know it and Gavin will be home. I will update later after we go to the hospital. Maybe I will have more pictures to share.

The Gavin Chronicles, September 21, 2007

2007-09-21T10:23:00.000-06:00

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31

Happy Friday Everyone!!

Gavin is 3 weeks old today and doing well. He is weaning once again from the Fentanyl drip and holding his own this time. I believe the intent is to have him completely off of the drip by Saturday. He is still tolerating his feeds well although last night he did puke up some of what went down. I told the nurse I think he had a hairball....not sure if she found me funny or not. Anyway, they suctioned him after he threw up and he was fine and tolerated the next 2 feedings just fine. He is still feeding at a rate of 1cc every 6 hours. The tenative plan is to increase that to 1cc every 3 hours in the next day or 2. Gavin's sodium level was a bit low yesterday so they gave him a sodium bolice this morning. This is very common with preemies because their systems are not always developed when they are born. He weighed in last night at 1lb 10.9oz...that means only 5 more ounces and he hits the 2lb mark!!! Colin says he is a beef cake now...I personally just think he has adorable little cheeks!

This week has been a whirlwind of emotions for our family. Colin returned to work on Monday after a long break of 3 weeks. The contract he is on with Lockheed Martin is up and was put out for re-bid. Lockheed was not able to bid the contract and it was awarded to another company. Effective Tuesday of next week Colin will be working for another company. The stressful part of this is that Colin had 10 years of service with Lockheed Martin and the new company is not willing to recognize the tenure. He starts at ground one with 2 weeks vacation whereas he had worked up to quite a bit more within Lockheed. The benefits with the new company are questionable and it remains to be seen how it will work for our family. Colin is now in the process of looking for new employment. I truly believe that the Lord will guide us in this process and watch over us in the coming months. He had a great interview this morning and I am sure there will be more to come.

Please continue to pray for our family. Pray for strength and healing for Gavin that he can continue to grow and get stronger every day. Pray for Colin that he would find a new job that is more suited to him and our family. Pray for myself for strength to manage day to day life with 2 kids, a preemie and a family. We are so appreciative of all of the love and support we have received thus far. I know the Lord hears our prayers and he does answer. I feel kind of like I hog his attention these days and we really are on a first name basis. He is used to me interrupting him and saying I can't wait I need to talk now....one of these days he may tell me to take a number.......but for now I will continue to send up my prayers.....

I will continue to update on Gavin with pictures and details. I hope everyone has a great weekend.

The Gavin Chronicles, September 19, 2007

2007-09-19T10:21:00.000-06:00

The Gavin Chronicles, September 18, 2007

2007-09-18T10:19:00.000-06:00

Good Afternoon-

Just a short update today before I take off for the hospital.

Gavin is going to start his feeds again today. They will be feeding him 1cc every 6 hours to begin with. This is exciting for us and I am sure Gavin will be pretty thrilled too. They removed his replogle line today and replaced it with a gavage tube for feeding. He has been weaned from his Fentanyl drip but can still have the medication as needed for pain. He is in the final days of his antibiotics that they started last week. His settings are down on his ventilator and he is on about 30% oxygen....remember room air is 21%. They were hoping to wean him a bit further on the ventilator if possible. Gavin weighed in at 1lb 6.2oz yesterday so he is making progress.......slow but steady! He looks really good.....his skin color is fabulous and of course he is cute as a dickins with his bleach blonde hair.....not that I am proud or anything .

Colin was able to return to work yesterday and I think he is going through a bit of an adjustment having been out for a few weeks. He received an award today from Lockheed Martin for hard work and dedication to the contract. I am so very proud of him and his career accomplishments. I am glad he was able to be back to receive the award in person.

The Lord continues to bless us with strength daily. We are so blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful people in our lives. In Phillipians 4:13, Paul says "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." This has come to be my motto the past few days. It really is true. Without my faith and support of our family and friends right now I am not sure where I would be. It is expressed nicely for me in Matthew 17:19 when Jesus says to his disciples "If you have faith like a grain of a mustard seed, you will tell this mountain to move from here to there and it will move and nothing will be impossible for you." I have seen through Gavin's eyes that truly nothing is impossible with faith and a little prayer. God has provided for us and I know that he will continue to provide for us each and every day.

Gavin has taught us to live life each day to it's fullest. I am thankful to Gavin for having shown me this lesson.

My hope, our hope, for each and every one of you is that you too live life to its fullest and strive each day to find your full potential because truly nothing is impossible.

I will update more later once I have seen my little man......I should have some pictures to share with you when I get home tonight....

Love and Peace...

The Gavin Chronicles, September 16, 2007

2007-09-16T09:30:00.000-06:00

Hello Everyone-

I wanted to send out an update today because I know I am a few days behind.

Gavin continues to recover from his surgeries quite nicely. You really would not know that this little guy had 3 surgeries in less than 24 hours just days ago. He had a few days where he was quite puffy from fluid retention and one of the photos you will see will reflect that. At this point he is not retaining fluid and is actually gaining weight!!! Today they weened him from his oscillating vent to a conventional vent. They are weening him from the Fentanyl drip tonight and they also have taken his repolgle line to gravity. This is all very good progress. They hope to be able to start feeding him again on Tuesday. Once the begin feeding him again it will take 7-10 days to get him on full feeds and be stable there. This is the point when they will look at a back transport to Littleton. Hopefully, this will come sooner than later because my kiddos are dying to see their brother again. They did get to visit up there on Friday night....but understand that PSL has a policy that siblings are only able to visit 1 time and the unit is on lockdown to all kids from October to March because of flu season. The kids enjoyed seeing him on Friday night and Ian said Gavin giggled at him. Once Gavin is back to Littleton Hospital he will stay there until about 2 weeks prior to discharge and then he will be flighted back to PSL so they can do the surgery to put him back together. He will then be discharged home from PSL. This should be somewhere around Christmas time. They actually say his due date for discharge.....which was December 9. As of today Gavin weighs 1lb 5.6 oz and is continuing to put on weight daily.

Colin and I are still hanging in there although I think the adrenaline has really worn off for Colin. As for me, I am still trying to convince my hormones to take a back seat and some days are far more successful than others. Dare I say again that Colin will return to work tomorrow......someone knock on some wood because we had this same plan last week too......I will be flying solo and I am a bit nervous about it. i am sure it will be culture shock for Colin because he has not been at work now for over 3 weeks.

The Lord continues to give us strength daily and I am certain it is because we have the prayers and support of so many wonderful people. We have met complete strangers on our journey and come to learn what it is to see God's people in action. Our God is an awesome God and he has shown his loving hands to us in this difficult time. We rejoice each day in the progress that Gavin is making and we thank him daily for the continued support we receive from family and friends.

We were put in touch with an organization called Help Heal the Children. Littleton Hospital put us in contact with them. They are an organization who help families like ours when they have a preemie. They have provided us with donations of Gas cards and meal donations from Supper Solutions. These donations mean so much to us because Gas and Meals truly are a big expense for us daily. We are so thankful for Valerie and her organization and the generous donations they are giving to us.

I will continue to keep you updated with status and pictures as I have them. I have included some new pictures from the past week. The first is of Gavin's new name sign at PSL.....his nurse Jamie made this for him. The second and third photos are a day or two post surgeries....you can see how puffy he looks. The fourth and fifth pictures are from when Ian and Brooke visited on Friday night. The sixth picture was daddy playing with Gavin and "Dangles" the other night. The last two were taken today. Notice that Gavin now has both eyes open. He doesn't like to keep his feet swaddled and it frustrates his nurses.....makes mommy laugh actually.

The Gavin Chronicles, September 13, 2007

2007-09-13T09:23:00.000-06:00

Hello Everyone-

WOW!!! What a great day it has been. Gavin is starting to get back to his ole self again and we could not be happier.

They have taken him off of all blood pressure medication. His ventilator settings are down and they will be taking him off of the oscillating vent today an putting him back on a conventional vent. They plan to start feeding him again on Monday or Tuesday of next week.....keep in mind yesterday we were told 10-14 days before feeds would even be considered. The doctor said he would be ready to come off of the vent next week however, she wanted to leave him on it so that she could establish feeds and get him going so he can get transferred sooner. She wants to see him grow now and feeding is important to that. Gavin weighed in at 1lb 4oz last night but may lose some tonight that he was retaining in fluid. He is having a great day and his belly really is starting to look remarkably better.

I am including some photos from today....I had to take a picture of Colin because seriously, the week has caught up to him and he looks like he has been hit by a Mack truck. He can hardly function today and I am sure it simply because the adrenaline from the week has worn off.....it hasn't hit me yet but I am certain it is coming.

Thanks for all of your continued love and support. We appreciate it and thank God for it each and every day. Please continue with the prayers as we all know how strong the power of prayer is.

I will update tomorrow with more pictures hopefully.....

The Gavin Chronicles, September 12, 2007

2007-09-12T09:04:00.000-06:00

Hello Everyone-

I wanted to send out a more positive update than the one I was able to give yesterday.

Gavin is resting peacefully and recovering from his many surgeries over the past 48 hours. They are having to support him more as his body works to heal. This means he is on a few meds to stabilize his blood pressure, his vent settings are up a little and he remains on pain medication to keep him comfortable. They tell me he is ROCK SOLID stable today and they are quite pleased with that.

We spoke with them today about a possible time frame for moving him back to Littleton Hospital. If everything continues to go well we are looking at about 4 weeks down here. They will begin to feed Gavin again in about 7-10 days and then hopefully he will do well and get up on his feedings so they can transport him back.

This little boy of ours is a fighter. He is charting his own course and writing a chapter in his own book of life. Not sure why we would expect anything different out of one of our children.

Colin and I will stay at the Hyatt til Friday and then go home where we hope to resume some semblence of normal life with Ian and Brooke. Keep in mind we had these same plans on Sunday last week.....we even planned out how it would look. We will continue to commute to see Gavin daily but we will be there for our other 2 as well.

I truly believe, although I don't really care for the atmosphere here, that this is the Lord's way of telling me to play mom to my 2 kids who really need me....let him take care of Gavin and guide the doctor's along the way.....Keep my family healthy and then celebrate Xmas together....All 5 of us!!!

Even though I was quite angry with him yesterday the Lord continues to provide for us. Some days I seriously think that he has me confused with someone else who can obviously handle more. Each time I say this, he gives me the strength to pull through. He has given Colin and I strength to handle situations which are unsurmountable to anything we have ever dealt with. Colin has continued to amaze me with the beauty of his patience, love and compassion that he has shown to me over the past weeks. I wasn't sure how our marriage would handle this.....or any marriage for that fact....but by the Grace of God we are managing ok. I am sure we will have our days, but for today we will rejoice in Gavin's great progress and we will be thankful for all of the great people in our lives who have surrounded us with love and prayer. We will rejoice in the small things from now on cause truly we take life for granted and we see that in this situation.

Thanks again for your continued love and support....keep those prayers coming because the power of prayer is amazing......and to see it in action is simply unbelieveable!

Now, I want to explain these pictures for a moment.....The first photo was taken on Sunday when Colin and I came to the nursery at Littleton that morning this is how we found him. He appeared to be praying. I am sure our son was praying for us for the hours and days that lay ahead.....see I am optimistic he already watches out for mom and dad ! The second photo is in the wee hours of the morning on Monday, 3 am to be exact. You can see how Gavin's abdomen doesn't look good at all....the cause for transfer. The third photo is the unit that Gavin was transported in to St. Lukes...it was quite the thing. The fourth photo is right after having his broviac port put in, prior to having another surgery the same evening. Finally, the last photo is a picture of Gavin today. You can see how much better he looks today...he has good color and he generally just looks good....ENJOY!!

The Gavin Chronicles, September 11, 2007

2007-09-11T07:55:00.000-06:00

Hello Everyone-

Just wanted to give an update on the events of the past few days.....Please bear with me.....I am running on about 4 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours....I have worn the same clothes for 3 days and taken 1 shower.....I have prayed without ceasing and had my faith tested on more than one occasion.

Gavin was airlifed out of Littleton Hospital at 3am Monday Morning. He has been taken to Pres St. Lukes downtown and will be there for several weeks. The nurses at Littleton noticed that his abdomen was quite distended on Sunday evening. They had major cause for concern that he had a perferated bowel and called the neonatologist to confirm. She called for the airlife team and away we went.

Yesterday was long and hard for Colin and I. While I know the team at PSL is probably the best in the nation with neonatology you just gotta understand that we literally went from the Broadmoar to the Motel 6....and I am not really sure they even leave the lights on for you.

Gavin was evaluated by the PSL team several times yesterday. On the morning XRays they did not see any evidence of a perforated bowel. So A ok.....now they start looking for him to have NEC which is a very intense infection in the intestines which can be fatal. We ruled out NEC yesterday afternoon after all tests pointed against it. Next they did an abdominal ultrasound which was perfect and revealed nothing other than normal. So the theory was that Gavin had been bleeding from around his liver which caused bruising on his abdoman and it to look so distended. Ok we are fine with that.....what is the treatment, let it run its course. So with that in mind they decided to do surgery to place a broviac port. Ian also had a broviac port and it is actually much better because they can stick him once instead of sticking him over and over again every time they need an IV. Surgery was last night at 9 pm. After surgery the surgeon took an XRay to confirm the placement of the broviac. In this XRay he found free air in Gavin's abdomen. This is a clear indicator of a perforation. Back into surgery they go. They placed a drain in his stomach that they drained last night and hoped to drain again today.

This morning Gavin's labs looked worse than yesterday and his drain was not working. It was determined that they HAD to do another surgery.....an exploratory laparotomy......at this time we were told they expected to find NEC and they didn't think that Gavin would live much longer.....Gavin was baptized before surgery and placed into God's care. Surgery began at about noon today and lasted a little more than an hour. I am pleased to report that Gavin does NOT have NEC and he is still alive and he is doing well. The surgeon did find that Gavin had 2 holes in his intestine and they had to put in a colostomy bag. This bag wiill be with Gavin until he is about 4lbs.

Bottom line, we need a lot of prayer right now. Colin and I are emotionally drained. Our family is torn apart and I am not able to see my other kids currently cause the hospital will not let them up there. This is extremely difficult on us financially and we are feeling it. The hope is that Gavin will be transported back to Littleton Hospital in a couple of weeks once he is stable again.

Please pray that they can get him stable and we can get back to Littleton. Pray for strength for Colin and I. Pray for strength for our family and most of all pray for strength for Gavin.

We appreciate all of the love and prayers you have given us so far and I feel very selfish to ask for more....but we really need them now more than ever.

The Gavin Chronicles, September 7, 2007

2007-09-07T07:41:00.000-06:00

Hello Everyone-

Wanted to send out an update on Gavin with some new pictures that we have.

I went home yesterday for the 1st time in almost 2 weeks. The ride home was very surreal and I think it finally hit me that I really do have a baby and he really is pretty darn small and he won't come home til Xmas. The kids were so happy to have mommy back last night. It was fun to spend time with them but emotional at the same time know that Gavin is still not home with us. My dizzy spells have been minimal today which is good however, I think I overdid it and now I am paying in the pain department. Gotta learn to pace myself and take it slower. Colin will return to work on Monday and I will be flying solo. I am not really sure how I will manage without him....he really has been my rock through this whole thing. I am going to miss having him around........

Gavin is doing very well still. Still on the vent however, they are prepared to switch him to c-pap should he extubate himself. He had a repeat head ultrasound where they were looking for brain bleeds and again it came back perfect. The doctor was stunned. I do not believe they ever see 25 week babies without brain bleeds. We were so thrilled with these results. He is still off of the billi lights for now but may need to sun bathe again soon. He gained 40 grams so he is back up to a weight of 1lb 2 oz.....he got his first breastmilk today and they said he was smacking his lips......he knows what's good for him!! He had a spa treatment today......they cleaned him all up and lubed him with lotion cause his skin was so dry. In the one picture you can see his adorable lil face without all the tape and goo on it. This made me so happy today to see this as I have not been able to see him without all the tape and stuff before. Gavin knows his daddy's voice.....he opened one eye today....in response to daddy!!! The other eye is still fused shut but should open up soon. Ian was up last night and was able to get to touch his little brother. I think the two of them are going to be really close when all is said and done. You can see them holding hands in the one picture. In one of the pictures you will see Gavin and his monkey "Dangles" The kids got Dangles for Gavin when they went to Estes Park this summer......so today we took pictures with him and now Gavin and Dangles sleep together.......

We continue to be amazed by Gavin and his daily progress. The Lord surely is watching out for us and our family. The power of prayer has been felt so much here the past week. We are so thankful for all of our friends and family and the support we are receiving. The road is long ahead of us......but we will make it. Keep those prayers and positive thoughts coming and we will keep you updated with pictures and progress reports.

The Gavin Chronicles, September 5, 2007

2007-09-05T07:31:00.000-06:00

Good Evening Everyone-

I know I am pretty late in getting this out today but I knew we would have new pictures so I wanted to wait and send it all at one time.

Gavin is doing WONDERFUL!!! He is still on the lowest ventilator setting and getting stronger every day. The doctors and nurses are thrilled with his blood gas levels. He came off of the billi lights today so he doesn't get to hang out and sun bathe anymore. He had his first bowel movement today so they tell me he is ready to eat now. Tomorrow they will give him 1cc of breastmilk every 12 hours. We are excited for this big step. He is starting to gain a little bit of his weight back that he had lost but he is not making huge strides in the weight department just yet.

Our big news today is that I got to hold Gavin!!! He is so tiny but man did that make my day......I could not be happier. Brooke was able to be here to see him when he was out but Ian missed it cause he had scouts tonight. Hopefully tomorrow or Friday Ian will be able to be here when they take him out to be held again. I want Colin to have a chance to hold him too.....maybe tomorrow!!! I was able to hold him for about 20-30 minutes and he was so calm the entire time. He never desated on his oxygen levels and they were so pleased with how he did. He likes to lay skin to skin with mommy and I am ok with that.

I am suppose to be discharged in the morning although Colin has pretty large concerns because I am still pretty dizzy. We will see how I feel in the morning and go from there....

That's it for my update today....enjoy the pictures and I will send out another update tomorrow when I have one.

The Gavin Chronicles, September 4, 2007

2007-09-04T23:43:00.000-06:00

Hello Everyone-
Sorry I am late in the day getting this out to you.....I am having some of my own issues today and getting on the computer just hasn't happened for me.
I will start with me.....I am having some pretty severe dizziness and they are not sure why. I cannot stand for long periods of time without feeling like I am having a total out of body experience......might sound weird I know....you should try it some time, totally indescribable. They ran a series of tests today and we are waiting on the results. Hopefully, it is as simple as being anemic and upping my iron will fix the problem. In the meantime, I am still here.....and will be til this in under control.
Now onto Gavin......our little man is so spunky he continues to amaze them day by day. As of today, he is on the lowest ventilator setting they can have him on. What does this mean.....normally they would take him off the vent at this point and put him on a cpap, however, cause he is a little bit small, they do not have cpap fittings small enough for him......so maybe by the end of the week.....who knows. His blood gasses continue to look good and he has not lost any more weight. He is holding steady at 1 lb 1 oz currently.....They will start feeding him breastmilk tomorrow. He will get 1cc every 12 hours. For reference....there are 5 cc per teaspoon....so yeah, he isnt getting much, but every little bit counts. They did have to give him a transfusion the other day and he has seen nothing but great effects from that. His white blood count was a bit low but that is indicitive of the poor placenta that his momma provided for him in utero. They gave him some meds to stimulate his body to produce its own white blood cells. The doctors and nurses are in love with him just as much as we are. They have been so good to us here at the hospital. What a wonderful staff of people that they have given us to work with us in this situation. Each and every one of them has been a God send in their own way. We thank God daily for such knowledgeable medical staff that he has given us to help Gavin on his journey. I hope to take some more pictures tonight and send them out......so stay tuned. I am able to touch him now so we should be able to get more pictures up for you. For now however, just visualize this bleach blonde baby, laying in the sun on the beach.....cause that is what Gavin is doin......my little Surfer Boy!! We will keep you updated as we have them.....thanks again for all of your prayers and well wishes.

The Gavin Chronicles, September 3, 2007

2007-09-03T23:42:00.000-06:00

Good Morning-

Just a brief update for you on Gavin this morning. He continues to do well and the doctors are very pleased with his progress. They did a repeat Echo and the cardiologist was pleased to announce that Gavin's PDA has closed up after the first round of antibiotics. This is a huge thing for us. Without the PDA closing Gavin would not have been able to make forward progress so now we are moving on. His glucose levels are really good and he continues to do well on the ventilator. They have to adjust the settings for him several times a day because of his ever changing needs but so far he is still only on about 30% oxygen.....room air is 21% just for reference. They plan to start feeding him some tomorrow. I have been pumping and my milk is starting to come in so he will get all the nutrients that he needs. They weigh him 2x a day currently and he was at 1 lb 1 oz as of this morning. I hope to see him start moving up in the weight department here real soon. A head ultrasound revealed that Gavin had not had any brain bleeds which is also very common among preemies born this early.

So that is it in a nutshell we will keep you posted as we get more information....